thE CheeRY MOments in thY WHiner'S LiFe

2 my gals...

2009-09-24T22:07:00.004+08:00

a fren is sick. i can only say 'fren, u noe we'll be there when u need us? dun hav 2 be afraid 2 let us noe too...'

or maybe itz me. i tin u r being amazingly strong but y do i feel somehow beneath all tat strong front, u still go get frightened or saddened by watz happening? i might be wrong, i can get over-dramatic but i dun wan 2 miss out again. i wan 2 mk sure i'm there...if u wan me 2.

i noe we hav gotten on wif our lives and i do feel sad (i'm still human & a girl afterall) when i felt i seemed 2 hav missed out watz happening in ur lives but i'm learning, learning to not mind such things & care abt more impt stuffs. i'll still be ard anyway...when u all wan a tok, shoulder (itz quite bony tho) or meal :P

btw gals, cun wait 4 u ppl 2 share my supposed-happiest-day-in-my-life, the fun, the planning blah blah blah...hehe.

wherez the hen trip we r supposed 2 go on btw??

today i counted. 102 more working days...hopefully.

rebel

2009-07-23T22:26:00.002+08:00

i felt like being rebellious...

y muz certain ppl tin watever they r doing is correct? Y cun they give ppl a tot of their mind? Y cun they accept tat others have plans in their lives? Y dun they have more impt things in life so they stop thinking those mindless stuffs as impt stuffs? Y muz they make a big fuss over things so tat ppl noe they r doing things? Y muz ppl become such ppl?

i am vastly irritated (who do u tin u r??), disturbed (Y do ppl behave like tat), horrified (i am genuinely horrified by these ppl & i'm scared of them because i tin itz horrible) & terrified (i dun wan 2 be like them!!).

i tin the place is madness.

i need 2 get out.

i'm constipating 1 moment & hvg diarrhoea the next (which meant i'm stressed).

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...the next off is in Nov!!! altho okay, i got a day off in aug but we need 2 be at hdb!!!

or well, i might hav dug my own grave at wk by being rebellious. not expecting a gd day tmr esp aft appraisal session. altho i tried 2 be as less concerned or heck care, these things can still terrorise me as it reminds me of all the terrible aspects of thy job. luckily someone invented something called salary but if they dun...i can dun wk & be a homemaker!! haha. i can dream abt it tonite.

high-tech

2009-07-05T20:30:00.002+08:00

oh, spidey's all over the pagge i guess..LOL

anyway, i'm amazed wif technology & wonder where the insignificant me stand in all these.

"I got a wedding invitation via facebook!"

okay, i'm suagu, tortoise or ulu, whatever u call me. i was awestrucked 2 c the invite & more amazed 2 c all the respondents on fb itself. anyway, loyal-i suspect-wun-be-free-2-c-this-post ex-senior, "boss", blog-stalker is getting married & puny me is amazed wif all the technology wif the invite & blog. okay, enough. i guess i've shamed myself wif my inadequate IT knowledge. i promise 2 buck up.

so congrats mate! i sounded so SK...haha. seems like a loonng when i 1st knew & tada, suddenly itz 77 days away. the blog was vy sweet...heehee but wherez the pics??!!

the weekend's ending again as i need 2 drag my feet back 2 wk again. sounds of thy sista saying "tatz y how itz like working 4 a female boss" ring onimously in my ear still...working 4 someone whom i tin juz fall out of love is worse i reckon. i'm a woman & i noe but too bad i'm juz a poor subordinate who hope boss will get better & we'll get a better life & all live happily ever after. like real. anyway, i hate 2 tin of the appraisal i reci...getting a development for communication...bcoz i've not tok 2 enough or enough impt ppl. haiz. life is hard at times. i wish i was back somewhere i had more petty & not-as-career-threatening trouble i deem. i juz feel uncomfortable thinking of all these. sure, itz a matter of me changing 2 suit the environment but wat if i'm unhappy aft tat or i become a faker person i fear i might be? hvg a sort-of identity crisis & feeling lost as usual & sometimes i get more confused pouring out the woes 2 ppl. haiz, life, juz life. cest la vie...

happier stuffs. i got a windfall lately, literally. thy bf's dad struck lottery & i actually got 2 share the spoils! is that 1 more sign of me being welcomed into his family? nevertheless, quite happy abt it tho the $$$...but i cun bring myself 2 say oh, maybe, maybe okay...i'll buy a long-awaited LV wif it...or or i dun mind a kate spade either. i can imagine all the nagging abt how this is a crisis & we juz got a flat, so i shd be saving. the worse part? i cun escape my conscience which's nagging tat way too. okay, maybe i say we'll use this to buy the curtains needed in the house k? tat felt like 5 times better coz i felt the sighing in my heart. serious, do i even need a LV? oh ya, i forgot, the combined spoils tat bf & i was slated 4 the bed. okayee...4 a better night of sleep. bye to speedy or whichever model u r i've been A-ing.

back 2 enjoy the last bits of the treasured weekend...

breakout :(

2009-05-19T23:51:00.003+08:00

pimply face again!!!

depressed...depressed...& more depressed!!!
*thinks abt the hundred products or treatments i wan 2 buy or go 4...

juz saw news that thy co might be investigated & if a huge payout results from tat, then oh, i tin we'll have a nervy round of taps again.

juz ended half of a horrible system testing today. collz & i almost died of the problems tat kept cropping like only 2 us. nice. & we both tin we'll be dead by the time mgr c wat we have. tat will be on thurs. tok abt getting taps...& i feel so tired. at 1 juncture i felt the mad rush of like account signing date. +helping out at career fair (which i practically did nothing yet, not gd for 人缘) + another collz on core leave. i wish the mad May will end soon.

if may ends & june comes, i'll be getting older soon...haiz. watz new??

i tin i've been procrastinating on things. things tat i shd be thinking abt or do but i juz dun do or do everything else except them. hmm...i actually now dun remember wat they r...oops. r they impt aft all?

i tin my spoken grammer has degraded 2 the lowest possible level & it doesn't help tat i need 2 use them at wk quite a bit. i hope this instead will help me improve...PLS. maybe i shd get some grammer books 2 use in the 1st place & can prepare 4 coconut...LOL

i shd also seriously tin abt my ppl communication skills, it will really mk things easier but then, i tin i can be really harsh on myself at times. watz wrong wif being myself? watz wrong wif not being the person ppl wans me 2 be? prob i'm juz afraid i'm using tat as an excuse 2 not open up myself but then again, y shd i? these ppl dun care abt my existence & i would like 2 shout "i don't also! watz the big deal abt like working here only?" at times. okay, for thy $$'s sake, i will bear wif it. itz not bad sometimes, maybe it mks wat i wan clearer. the other day i was worrying over my career progression bcoz i noe i will nvr get THERE in this job & i'm already this old le, like been hopping ard a bit. i manage 2 comfort myself tho. i still have a great family, bf, frens & a lovely dog ard me. how 幸福...keke, so i dun wan 2 get all drama over this :D

time 2 sleep tho...i fear more breakouts.

fitting or not?

2009-04-01T23:40:00.002+08:00

i really tin i dun fit in. i felt like an idiot during the catch-up session. everything juz dun seem right.

is it a coincidence or wat? johnny say he's looking 4 an a/cs & admin person again at this timing...but i dun tin i'll be there aft the last time. i dun wan 2 feel bad again :P

i've been thinking 2 terminate 1 of my phone lines but i dunno if i shd get a new phone or get which telco. i definitely wan 2 save some $$$ by signing on the corporate plan but a new phone is against my savings plan. i juz went 2 the laneige website & tin i needed 2 products...erm.

FAT & i got captivated by this show repeating on channel 8.

tada.

i got facebook ><

2009-03-31T22:34:00.007+08:00

nothing has changed. i still feel vy tired every morning. i still ask myself if i can dun go 2 wk every morning. i still wake up 4 wk in the end every morning. gd thing is, i'm still getting paid & $$$ still comes into my a/c every mth & i can continue 2 have a shopping list tho i scrapped them now & then 4 the nex trip.

i was hoping tat someone wld improve the aircon ventilation system on mrts. i cannot allow myself 2 be on the brink of breaking out in sweat when i'm cramming near the door & got so cold i feel i'm at mt fuji again when i'm standing at the right place. this is absurd. a mrt ride deciding how my day will go. i dun like 2 start the day sweaty & sticky :(

i was poking at my nose again yday & i tin i saw uneven skin surfaces & larger pores...em, will i go pauline's way soon? tat crazy woman is spending 2.1k on a 3-session laser 2 get better skin. gosh. & she shopped for 7 days 6 nites non-stop in taiwan. i'm amazed. she's still as funny. itz nice seeing her again. even tho i was trying vy hard 2 not say 'i wan go sleep le' during our hk cafe session. unlike anti-social-i-need-to-sleep-at-11-ivy tho i kept pestering her 2 turn up 4 my wedding...lol.

i kept feeling tat the feb aus trip is like such a long time ago. i cun believe japan was only last yr. oh, while day-to-day life flies past but they well, r juz so-so normal days & not tat significant i guess. if thy BF cannot find a caretaker 4 his 4 dogs 4 his family trip 2 take place, maybe i can go bangkok again. cheaper & i can spend w/o so much guilt.

thy collz kept saying i love wk coz i kept smiling at the com. i'm like 'duh', i prob smiled coz i saw something lighter eg. S-L-J's silly emails...SQ's equally silly replies...LOL. i'm not the friendliest person ard k?!! DUH :s

here's a leg for tat duh-ness.

a former best fren is getting married. most of my close frens r involved & i'm definitely out of the picture. tot of the time when we said we'll be each other's sister 4 our weddings. now tat it will nvr happen, u realise things dun stay the same way u wish they will be forever sometimes. i got myself a facebook a/c. i figure i shd be more active in socialising wif my frens & keeping in touch, so there i am. i even uploaded my pic can *proud look on the face* even tho i was vy unfamiliar wif the interface. i sometimes ponder: am i even a gd fren 2 be wif in the start? i realised how i've kinda drifted apart even from my long-time pals but i suppose this is wat we shd expect as we grow older. it would be great if we could grow old tog & still continue 2 laugh at the same old stuffs then...lol. now tat is something tat facebook wun even be able 2 save me from even...ha.

if only i could wake up to this for a consecutive 2 wks of my life...haha...i dun dare say too long coz being the city ppl, we might not be used to it. shit, i'm missing aus again.

i wish i have the courage...

2009-03-22T22:20:00.004+08:00

read from shiling's blog tat she has decided to quit her job.

i wish i have the courage. thy BF has been supportive but i'm still feeling apprehensive.

i always tin there is much at stake & i always tin so much...as usual. making myself absolutely miserable is part of my life.

i wish i have the courage and i can go 4 wat i really really wan.

question is: wat do i really really wan? right now, itz perhaps not gg 2 wk where i felt like a zombie or a loner on a really really lonely island. wat has happened? hav i been questioning about this too much & not solving the problem but how do i do it when there isn't a chance? i feel so so disappointed. i wk so hard 2 be where i am only 2 land in this kinda disappointment which is almost bringing me into depression. i dread waking up 4 wk (which is normal), i dread gg 2 wk & i dread gg 2 bed only 2 end up thinking abt the disappointment and how many times have i ended up in tears bcoz itz kinda the only other way 2 dispel my frustration (the other way is to quit).

我觉得很茫然, 在等待勇气降临的一天, 而我告诉自己放弃是走向前一步, 不是停滞或后退.

maybe i shd juz prepare for the wedding like wat SK suggested & ignore the rest but itz too too hard. i kinda wish i dun hav 2 step into the place again. i wish...i can be happy again. i really forgot the last time i was really really happy.

i look forward to my clear blue sky...

memorable trip part I

2009-02-27T00:15:00.004+08:00

wow, is tat a spider web i saw on the blog? keke.

i wish i'm in my dreams & i wan go back aus!! back 4 4 days & i'm still dying 4 the place. i tin i've been kinda floating ard the workplace these few days with post-hol syndrome. i feel really sleepy.

the 10-day aus trip was quite a blast in my opinion other than the let-down weather (a rainy aus anyone?) at times, getting the tour group 2 move on, reminding them tat the aus clock ticks fast & earlier, trying my best 2 be a navigator, trying my best 2 stay awake when i'm at the front seat. my entire family was there, thy BF was there, i tin everyone's quite happy 2 be with everyone & the trip has helped bonded everyone better, like now mum shd be assured tat bro's gf seems like a gd cook. she cooked breakfast every morn if need be. contrast? i slept & woke up 4 breakfast every morn. luckily thy BF's mom wasn't there :P

the trip started wif brisbane & our 1st stop was harbourtown!! the rain did spoil things tho...thy sisters ended up not visiting some major shops & had 2 explain how could they have missed out those places?? lol. our 4 days at bris were spent visiting the same old places, like my fave surfer's paradise, indooropilly, south bank & we went to the Treasury casino 4 the 1st time thks 2 dad & mum...i like the place coz itz non-smoking. nice. we also did a lot of shopping wif harbourtown, indooro, queen st mall & DFO!! i like.

we moved on 2 byron bay on the 5th day. the day started fine wif fine weather & our drive down was rather smooth. everyone got a tad excited by the cows, horses & farms they saw on the way. the beach wasn't as gd as surfer's in my opinion but well, itz the drive 2 the accomodation tat baffles everyone. i could feel my heart thumping harder & harder wif every inch's drive esp aft we drove onto the right street. when we arrived, everyone was shocked. well, we had 2 drive thru a passageway (with trees on both sides), then we finally got 2 the hse which overlooked the hills. beautiful scenery but it reminds me of those houses in slasher flicks. everyone was quite unused 2 the surroundings. needless, most of us had a bad nite (esp mom who is so scared) & 4 me, the idea of the owner sharpening his knife in his house doesn't help 2 put me 2 sleep cum menses cramp. how nice. we woke up at 5am the next day & left the house. oh well, the main highlight of byron was 2 catch the sunrise altho we do use 漏夜落跑 2 describe the scene coz everyone was frantically packing their stuffs 2 leave the house but...hey, the sunrise dun wait k. Right after stepping out of the house, we then knew it was raining. needless 2 say, there goes our sunrise (again).

spent much of the 6th day driving 2 hunter valley. everyone was vy pleasant 2 c our accomodation there. itz those kinda wooden log cabin which is vy nicely furnished & itz located in a vineyard! vy vy nice, erm if my family compared tat 2 the byron one. we were recommended 2 eat at this place called blaxland inn 4 dinner. oh, the pork chop is done in such a nice way tat itz still so juicy when it went into our mouth. the surrounding is juz so surreal (i forgot all about s'pore bcoz we will nvr get tat here...)

shall continue the rest of the days in another post...got 2 koon. itz still only fri & the dreaded month-end is here again :(

i miss my south bank, surfers & shopping...

itchy...

2008-12-29T22:54:00.002+08:00

there were a few times i wanted 2 blog but was too lazy 2 come here...

well, time is like flashing past, i've seen my collz came & went on their core leave...so so fast. i've been there 4 almost gulp, 5 mths!! & the industry is deep in crisis now & everyday i got 2 entertain the tot of being retrenched. 4 a while, i tot great, i'll be getting a break but does being the chosen 'one' tells me abt my quality. dunno. today i was stimulating the scene & i tin i might tear...itz still a tad malu isn't it?

attended 2 weddings last wk...itz a gd week 4 weddings i reckon...at least i knew of 5 weddings taking place. my cousin got married on x'mas day 2 a chinese woman. i'm not close 2 him or rather 2 any of my dad's relatives but gossipy things r simply too gd 2 turn down at times...haha. especially when those aunts r ard, ppl r juz so duh at times isn't it? & i reminded mommy not 2 repeat the 'mistake' during any of our weddings or all these will be endless. attended tommy's wedding on sat...the cute animation was let down by the direction of the stupid projector. most of us sitting on this side could not enjoy the slide shows & animation bah. wat a waste. my fave part of the wedding is that & i dun get 2 c it...argh. at the end of the everything, tommy turned so red itz amusing...i've nvr seen a redder groom. oh maybe, i hvn been attending enough weddings. haha.

in a interesting twist, i found the groom in the next ballroom sharing the same name as a primary schoolmate. i tot his name was rather special & itz prob hard 2 find a duplicate but well, i nvr noe. i tried 2 sneak & peek a bit aft the wedding, i din manage 2 c his face but it felt like him. would he recognise me? i tin i've lost all my primary schoolmates. this guy used 2 be on my best frens' list (at least in primary 4) & i remembered borrowing the secret island by enid blyton from him 2 read again & again. there were 4 of us then, same like the protagonists in the book. i tin i was nora, if anyone ever read the book. it was a vy nice book. quite a weird feeling & it serves to remind me again how time has flied & i wonder how's everyone...

time 2 stop...i'm getting mosquito bites!! argh :(

LPL tins: wld S-L-J still be free 2 do blog stalking? LOL :P

btw to SLJ: thy WII is not pirated!!!

got 2 go...itz getting too itchy!!

this might be my last post...

2008-11-20T00:41:00.002+08:00

& i nearly lost this blog again...wonder watz wrong wif blogger & google...always making me tin i've lost this blog forever :x

itz late. i'm unwell. i shd sleep. i'm getting used 2 being faintish, giddy or having tat floating feeling these days. i really need 2 stop giving myself so much stress & learn 2 relax & of coz, exercise!

time really flies these days...it has been 3 mths at the new place. i dun really like it but itz gd $$$ so i tin i'll grind & grunt & get over it altho quitting shines past my mind like everyday. i tin i'll quit working 4 a while 1 day for recuperation. thanks 2 my belief tat if i start earlier, i get a better chance of like bonus (which will be non-existent 4 the yr) & well, ha, nothing, i tin we r getting nothing this yr. i hope 4 an increment tho...altho not having it means we hav more time 4 the flat. dilemma...i would love more $$$ so i can quit sooner 2 get my health back but oh well, every cloud has its silver lining. toking abt the flats, haiz, hope the prices will drop soon...now then i realise how broke i am. *i cun afford something i wan! so i started aiming higher in my career...i'll wk hard 2 be promoted but itz a dilemma again. i noe i'll get myself all stressed up again if i do tat. oh well, let nature take its course lah...

btw, i gave up on my rogue 4 sometime, she's rotting. poor thing, she's my fave character like 1st love u noe...ha. i got a level 61 warlock le! wat a miracle...ha. tho i like playing wow, i realised that i got 2 play it lesser these days. my body cnt take all these late nites coz i cun/dun wan 2 stop playing! oops, i shd sleep...

3 mths 2 bris again!!! i cun wait! cun wait 2 c the familiar places again! i dun care abt the weather...i juz well, feel so much better 2 be back there again...2 be out of here.

wow...

2008-10-06T23:14:00.003+08:00

i tin my eyesight muz be failing more & more...now tat i'm hooked on WoW :P

i'm gg 2 up my rogue training, train more on leatherworking & cooking later...haha. i'm really hooked...i played until i puked. okay, itz more of the bad screen resolution of thy BF's 2nd com or eating too much :(

either way, i hav diarrhoea today.

to my lovely mates: i'll hav 2 stay away from s***mb**t 4 a while. i feel nauseous even not thinking of the word...oops.

i'm missing all my prev jobs where i can take mc w/o a care. not tat i cun now but i juz kept having this notion of being fired from the job bcoz i kept making mistakes! being the work perfectionist, this is bad. i need 2 perk myself up again...so...i'm gg 2 play WoW! haha.

魔杰座

2008-09-23T00:19:00.002+08:00

thy silly sister is so happy tat jay's album is called '魔杰座' bcoz she's a capricorn & borne on the same day as him...duh as usual.

cun wait 4 the next break...

T...I...R...E...D

b4 i switch off the com...

2008-08-27T23:36:00.002+08:00

aft surfing a few websites, i tin i'll be spending $$$ on:

1) some Laneige loose powder;
2) Kose Junkisui foaming wash.

my face has been facing a breakout lately :(

no wonder the hairdresser tot i'm still schooling :(

so sad tat i spend quite a lot of $$$ on products but they dun seem 2 wk :(

but i got red hair now! altho the hairstyle still looks limpy & mks me feel old.

muz be the breakdown making me feel bad :X

thy BF has embarked on his 2-week vegetarian stint & i hope 2 join him sometimes coz itz time 2 cleanse my system too.

wk has kinda started 4 almost 2 wks le. everyday is busy learning new things. i hvn even had time 2 snoop on internal postings! i also feel better than i did last wk. perhaps i've really learnt 2 kinda let go :)

met some ex-co ppl working at current co 4 lunch today...itz supposed 2 be a nice gathering but it had 2 rain. imagine eating at top speed coz the rain was blowing at u every min & dunno y there were uncovered parts over the outdoor seats which we were in. so the lunch ended quickly & awkwardly & half the time they were mentioning names tat i dunno (yet).

i aspired 2 jog on sat...i shd really mk it happen. thy BF needs some exercise too :D

newbie jitteries

2008-08-18T22:42:00.004+08:00

i tin itz the same wif all new jobs, the so-called newbie jitteries. hopefully things will get better & i will pass my stay peacefully & blissfully. When i woke up this morn, i actually missed ex-job a bit. i miss the flexibility of arranging my bedtime & arrival time at time, basically the freedom of time arrangement & at lunch, i miss my lunch kakis even tho we (if SC ever c this) juz kept toking abt the same topic over & over again. i tin (& i hope) itz juz the newbie jitteries or itz gonna be hard 2 survive.

life is like a rollercoaster at times. i got 2 learn how 2 take & enjoy it in the process. Can the ride not be so bumpy tho? haha :P

btw, i miss japan. i miss anywhere lah. anywhere except here :x

1st day of short Freedom...

2008-08-14T01:17:00.003+08:00

it officially ended yday le. not much feelings except mild exhaustion & relief at a final break.

getting jitteries about the next. Can i fit, will i give up aft a while?

i was trying 2 sell my 'make the job interesting urself' thing juz now & i was asked y dun i try 2 mk audit interesting & stay on. i tot abt it juz now & came up wif the answer which i wld hav wanted it 2 be. I noe wat was i there 4 in the 1st place: 2 switch 2 the banking industry which ideally would have suited my element, so i hope it will be as blissful as my shipping expedition & itz damn hard 2 get in w/o relevant experience man. call me supersitious but i tot some of the things the fortune teller told me was amazing. i nvr like auditing during my study days, i struggled the most during audit papers & itz a miracle how i passed my acca audit papers, itz juz something i nvr tot i'll do. I made a transfer 2 the right dept i was 2 be in if i wan 2 fulfill my trf of industry aft knowing my then-dept wun offer me wat i wan.

i like this. it reminds me of wat i can be made of & i still hav a clear mind at the end of the day.

okay, i did sight thy BF & mommy as reasons y i wan 2 go. i'm a vy family person. i'm the kind who will wan 2 break down at 2am upon receiving mommy's call on y i still hav 2 wk so late. i tin i dun hav an appropriate answer & i feel quite sorry 2 her tat she has worried abt me all my life & still has 2 continue 2 until maybe i get married or something. Ya, u can quote the parents-will-always-love-their-child thing but we shdn't juz take it 4 granted. they shd hav an easier life bcoz as i grew older, i realised the past was hard. I nvr understood y i only earned a caning when i kept pestering 4 a barbie doll or the disgust on a relative's face when she complaint 2 her mum tat i'm playing wif her barbies. dad was hardworking but quiet & ppl juz took advantage of him 4 tat...dad has been working at same co but pay remained stagnant 4 10 yrs le bah & pay is pathetic, only higher than my 1st pay 4 HF. so now WE (thy sisters) muz wk hard, earn more $$$ so ppl can nvr look down on us again & parents can lift their heads high & say proudly abt us. tat past feeling was shity but it helped 2 spur me on & it prob shaped the person i am.

& thy poor BF who c me working, exhausted, sleeping, stressed, depressed or crying throughout the days shd be entitled 2 a day off this Friday (bcoz i'm off too & itz daddy's bday!) now tat his sufferings have tentatively ended 4 a while...if new job is okay, then he's off the hook. thks baby, u noe how impt it is 4 me 4 u 2 be there...bcoz i might hav lost shiling & eliz as frens wif the incessive self-indulgent depression & whining i had. trust me, i was irritated at myself at times...i tin i was too much. ah, i shd try 2 fix this but whining seems 2 hav become a part of me ley :P

countdown...

2008-07-31T22:52:00.003+08:00

itz a tad hard 2 believe. i was wincing at the amt of shopping in the itinerary but now, i tin, i do miss bkk a bit. i believe itz due 2 the fact tat i'm back in sg now. i love being away these days. i hated coming back from japan. i miss aus quite a bit. i dun mind even gg 2 genting now perhaps. juz 2 get away from here. i shd start 2 plan 4 my next trip. i wan spa sessions!!

i arrived back from bkk wif S$700 lesser in my pocket but i tin i bought quite a bit of stuffs. i found some styles of clothings tat i've been looking 4 a while. i tin i shd hav built some muscles into my legs & biceps from all the shopping & carrying of stuffs...haha. i din manage 2 visit a supermarket as i wld hav like tho. there r 2 things i tot i'll do gg overseas:

1) tasting the kfc there (i juz wan 2 cfm anywhere else's kfc is better than sg's :P)
2) visit the supermarket (i tot itz nice 2 c wat the locals hav or buy).

bkk felt like m'sia too. some of the buildings looked vy old & somehow, i juz find the thais look familiar which i juz realised, maybe the construction worker link. i tin itz quite an eye-opener (my 1st time there), their markets & malls hav like endless shopping, i tin i'll prob collapse if i hav 2 go thru all, too much 2 take. itz really amazing too tat the shops r not too repetitive as expected. itz vy hot too, like sg. i tot it will be lovely 2 walk thru the market if the weather is cooler. i lost my sanity sweating there. i've hoped there was more interaction between thy travelling mates too but all were too busy shopping. something 2 wk on perhaps but nevertheless, still quite an experience & we also met this impressive thai cab driver who speaks thai, english, mandarin & jap! his poor family background made him all the more hardworking & we r like, shopping like crazy. oh, i'm missing the massage sessions vy much. itz cheap & really vy gd. i wld go back 4 the massage.

tmr is a day i've been waiting 4 sometime. i anticipate it wif mixed feelings, more of a mix of relief & anticipation. wonder how it will be like but i'm vy clear on the choice i've made. i can c the clear blue skies!! as i looked back on a similar-themed post done 2 yrs ago, i hope the path will be diff this time & there wun be whining posts sprouting soon :P

sick gal's day...

2008-07-23T23:06:00.003+08:00

the upper of my arms r aching. the cause? playing baseball & tennis on Wii. much as it hurts 2 lift my arms now...i do relish the exercise. i was sweating at the end too. did i also say i'm kinda hooked on tat machine. i visit thy BF aft 10pm frm wk 2 play...it muz be some craze huh. i would say itz the interaction. i enjoyed the interaction wif fellow players & seeing how it bonds ppl.

i felt sick today. my back seems 2 be getting well advanced of age. it kinda aches frequently nowadays. i was contemplating seeing a doc over it aft knowing wat happened 2 ZJ & wat i've read. as known, i'm a constant worrier, so i scare myself over stuffs. so wif arm-ache & backache, i tin i hav a headache & felt feverish but it doesn't feel hot enough 2 be a fever. i really dunno wat happened. i hope it wun spoil my long-awaited bangkok trip.

i'm flying vy early fri morn! SQ & ZJ r already in phuket le. i was doing some information search on the city juz now & i got a bit excited. there r juz so so many shopping waiting & we r staying at this serviced apartment which is opp all the action & which prob meant if the gals wan 2 stay in the hotel, i can pop by opp. 4 some supermarket shopping & c if there r interesting stuffs. i shd really bring a luggage there. i'm still deciding between a backpack or luggage. the latter will prob do vy well if i really overbuy. dilemma dilemma!

the end seems 2 be nearing! yay! the announcement looks like it will happen this wk & i can proceed le. i might venture into something worse but itz better than not trying at all. i'm prob more excited abt things happening outside all these now lor. my life looks 2 be taking off 2 something new from next year & i will assume a new role in life. i hav 2 wk harder :)

HOT!

2008-07-03T22:58:00.002+08:00

kaoz, itz a hot hot day again! i muz grumble again...y cun sg hav 4 seasons? i wld love 2 be in aus now...muz be so cooling. so envious of ivy & DQ. FAT is complaining she's cold. this is absurd. she muz be crazy.

this morn, i decided 2 exercise no matter wat. i cun even remember when's the last time i exercised. this is really vy bad. i nvr gave my body a chance 2 properly excrete out tat toxic by sweating & kept on pounding on the fats & cholestrol. all on the convenient excuse tat i'm too thin. i also like this notion tat if i sweat often like this, i'll prob not get heated up so easily. i hate sweating on other occasions & i get really irritated if i do. anyway, i'm hvg bodyache now thks 2 the exercise. it simply shows how long i've been giving excuses on not exercising. i was vy wobbly by my 3rd round of jogging. i tot i'll collapse & it doesn't help further tat i decided 2 go vegetarian today. i was starving like crazy by 5 but i tot this is a nice day overall :)

shiling is asking us abt a song tat has a sentence tat goes 'cun go back to the past & cun go to the future too'. cracking our brains :x

aft a nice meal...

2008-06-27T21:54:00.004+08:00

i juz had a fulfilling dinner. thy BF & i were at Ah Yat Seafood at Turf City. It was a wonderful dinner:

1) Chilli Scotland Stone Crab - the roe is so so good...yum...too much shell tho :)
2) Bamboo Clams with garlic & soya sauce - eating the taste of the good old times...
3) Drunken Prawns - this is the best! the prawns were so sweet & fresh...i wan 2 eat more of them! *drooling at the tot of it :D

they din cost us a bomb too. this is a nice start 2 the weekend :)

i'm supposed 2 be on 3 weeks' leave from mon but it was spoilt by the fact tat i hav 2 go back on some days bah. nvm, i shd take a more positive approach twds things, maybe i'll feel better. i do wan 2 be responsible dun i? i tin so. sometimes i hate myself 4 feeling this way. i can heck care & maybe i'll be happier but...itz juz not me tho :x

btw, me & BF has came up wif a nice name 4 coconut (not tat he's really gg 2 be named coconut in future, itz a pet name), we'll name him Lukas (aka Lukas 'Coconut' Wang or Ong) & it really sounds quite gd altho we might give up the idea if his namesake (german striker Lukas Podolski ) fails 2 help win $$$ by being the top goalscorer at the euro. Go Lukas!!! I wan 2 win $$$...haha.

coconut pork chop

2008-06-23T23:22:00.004+08:00

so coconut's godmum doesn't seem 2 like his name...it sounds weird when put wif pork chop. Pork chop is a dog's name btw, which is kinda weird coz the food item juz kept popping in my mind. anyway, if no like coconut, can hav the nex one...

TADA:

Fruits & vegetables "C" series

Cucumber 王瓜

i tin i like this name...i feel so much cooler thinking of him & 4 his future career, he can be 瓜王...haha. like coconut can be 椰子王 coconut king & we can hav endless nice cooling coconut water le. nice. hahahahaha.

so ellie, u prefer coconut's future godmum or cucumber's future godmum? keke :P

宝贝，加油！

2008-06-22T22:52:00.008+08:00

i muz stop thinking abt how bad it is 2 hav 2 wk tmr (but hey, can't it be SERIOUS monday blues?) & tin something better of tmr. I muz stop the research. my headache is getting worse. I tin the ending will still be sad tmr. it kinda getting like a norm huh...no good coz i still bawled myself out aft every failure. i muz take some cues from 100-times-interviews-failures & ask her how she got thru all those shit & landed a sort-of-dream job.

btw, Ms 100-times-interviews-failures actually asked thy BF & me if she can hav instalments 2 our wedding ang pau. wah, she's in such bad shape? anyway, thy BF retorted wif his quick thinking & Ms 100 ended up wif hvg 2 pay more bah...hahahhah...it was really funny.

In the car tat fateful Sat morn aft dropping Kim...aft some random topics
Ms 100: Can i pay ur wedding ang pau in instalments?
thy BF (thinking vy quick): sure, if u r giving us $1k...
Ms 100 - speechless & perhaps laughing
thy BF continues: if u can pay tat much (is it $488) 4 rain, u can pay tat much 4 us...
& both of them continues 2 argue. Ms 100 muz felt relieved 2 reach home or wished her psm is sending her back instead...hahahaha.

i enjoyed last friday vy much. i tin i hvn had time or chance 2 chat wif my mates 4 quite long already. altho i was feeling vy hot coz there was no wind but i tin itz really sometime since we had heart-to-heart chats like this. itz almost like the past. i've been lamenting abt too much wk making me lost my social life. i never felt better like last fri. thks gals. 朋友就像酒一样，越久越香浓。好久没那么舒服了，谢谢。

but 2

coconut's future godmum, who or wat is pork chop? it made me hungry when i was reading.

thy BF has lately embarked on a diet adventure 2 get back 2 this:

this pic was taken in Nov 06 (courtesy of his once-stranger aka coconut's future godmum), bf's hair looked kinda weird...like itz curly. thy BF has since became...

the 2 pics doesn't seem 2 generate much difference due to the amazing effects of photography. u hav 2 c the real thing. according 2 him, i hav fed him 2 be 黑黑胖胖...maybe the jacket did help him a little...ha. we had a gd laugh over this in japan coz he looked like a warrior dressed in their kimono-styled bathrobes & u hav 2 c the real thing 2 laugh vy much...ha. baby, 加油！！！

feeling sleepy now...thks the euro match this morn. Y cun they show italy-spain 1st? argh. but i'm glad the over-rated holland team has been knocked out of the competition. yawnz.

i need a break

2008-06-17T23:31:00.004+08:00

i dunno whether 2 be sad or happy tat thy BF cun be a hairdresser coz he's actually helping 2 blow dry my hair now but he's juz moving the dryer up & down behind my head...most of my hair r still wet & the part of shirt on the back is hot from the blowing...thks...when he asked 2 continue or not, i actually said yes. now he's moving sideways...i dun tin i'll be able 2 sleep tonite. italy vs. france...here i come...

anyway my sentimental fave team is doing vy badly in the Euro tat they might not even step into the next round by winning later. worse, the team has became a bunch of italian uncles tat u cun bear watching anymore. i nearly wanted 2 fly into the tv & whack the whole team out of their mind but according 2 some paper critics & thy BF, their midfield is doing fine but i juz cun bring myself 2 watch. i realised i hvn been following up on inzaghi 4 vy long. not only did the job cost me precious time, patience, character, frens...i dun even hav time 2 catch up on my fave footballer on all times & milan isn't anywhere on my realistic target of travel lately.

met up wif bkk old ladies in the aft & they hav a new destination in taiwan...SC asked if i wan go HK coz she has free lodgings...nono, i got 2 reject. I had enough this yr (altho i like 2 get out of here as much as i can)...& i got 2 save up 4 aus nex yr unless maybe ivy moves there earlier & can house my entourage...haha. i simply got 2 start saving & looking at the credit card bills, i hav spent a lot too. Sat's shopping trip yielded 2 tops & 2 pairs of shoes & another 2 tops & a bottom last thurs. the wardrobe is getting too overcrowded. i HAVE TO SAVE. period.

i was vy vy vy pissed off today. as if the com keeps cnt working, i dun deserve someone barking at me over it w/o even understanding the whole situation & making a conclusion wif his asshole mind. yes, i really his mind is in his ass at times. he really tins he's tat gd & everything he tot is correct. my foot. i always told myself tat he can still get vy childish, stupid & totally unbearing at times but i've tried 2 lighten over time. itz really a waste coz something juz nvr chg. dun tok 2 me abt 计较 between family. u were the asshole who taught me tat. look at urself over the yrs, when hav u ever forked out? dun tin by treating a few meals & subscribing 2 ch55 lately u hav changed something. i can rattle a few more expletives on tat. i was so furious this aft i teared at the west mall library, attracting curious eyes. bloody hell. i'll nvr forget all this. from now, the animosity is on again. he can go 2 hell 4 all i care & i wun shed a tear. thks 4 piercing further into my down-ness which is already at its worst wif everything tat is happening ard me, esp the job search. i will remember this.

lately some bright (might be dimming 4 all i noe aft my email juz now) light did filter into my career at current place. i was offered 2 be involved in a big job which also happens 2 be a shity new job. i also flunked in my latest interview wif 1 of the coveted banks 2 wk 4 previously. so this might be a silver lining altho i'm really not keen 2 stay at the place. i slept & dreamt abt the day i can leave. no wonder i heard dreams r the opposite of reality, i'm still at the same old place. i really lost interest in working lately. i juz wan 2 sleep, slack & stay at home everyday. mentioning wk can bring tears 2 me, i suppose i really hav a vy huge phobia & i tot mabe i ought 2 seek pro help but no, i tin i will heal fine if i can leave or not work. adding 2 a most depressing day was an email telling me 2 handle some wk this week when i'm on leave! i cun take it. it all accumulates 2 a point i cun take it & i cun breathe. i did something uncharacteristic...i became irresponsible. i said i was sick (i really was tho in some truth) & i dun wan 2 handle it this week. give me a break pls? i'm sick 2 the brim 4 life lately.

stucked

2008-05-25T00:10:00.003+08:00

a month has passed since my last entry...i'm still stucked at where i am...altho some fluke silver lining did like appear & made me joyous 4 like 2 wks. i felt so glad i din commit too much of the future into my shopping in japan but i still feel sad coz no one wans me & i'm STUCKED!! i'm gg back 2 tat draggy place aft a 2 wks' break. oh man!! holidays shd be forever!! met up wif the gal collz (or ex-collz i hope soon) juz now & itz really terrifying 2 noe i'm still like employed at the same place which i hope i wun be come next year same time. hai, i was indulging in some nice throw-the-letter dream earlier & it all burst rite aft the holidays...WTF. i've learnt never 2 take anything 4 granted until the last min. i shd learn.

btw, i came back frm japan wif burberry blue label & agnes b bags! i reached my goals!! YAY!! so happy...haha. & i din do as much damage 2 my wallet as feared. things were a tad ex & i'm into SALE. also got this pair of ah-ma (FAT was laughing at the purchase) shoes for 1,050 yen, vy cheap & it feels quite comfy...not bad at all. other triumphant purchases include 1 more pair of comfy shoes, donald duck shirt (my fave disney character!), nice pearly earphones, disneyland bag (i hav 2 get 1 bag at each disneyland but 1 of the button dropped off tdy :(), all the wonderful, cool & cheap facial products (i love matsumoto kiyoshi :D) & getting FAT & Sis 2 buy things i dun wan 2 spend on...hahahahaha...esp proud of the last one. i nearly convinced FAT bought a blue label bag until Sis spoilt it all. all in all, i do like the country & i shd be gg back, not so soon tho but definitely not on JAL. i nearly lost my right hearing & the food sucks big time. it was an overall poor experience on the airline & our spoilt Auntie & FAT already requested 4 our homegrown airline 4 the nex trip. ya, if itz not too ex.

i saw a lot of sales walking thru city hall & orchard tdy. i cun wait 2 start! haha...& therez my fave m)phosis sale which i got 2 tops. oh, therez bangkok too end-jul & i reckon we'll shop till we drop bah. sounds fun & tiring. old ladies shd go out & 'exercise' at times tho i wonder how wounded we would already be wif this GSS b4 we made the trip :P

random blabberings...

2008-04-24T22:59:00.004+08:00

is it me? is it i din get myself (& my concerns) across too clearly or i simply trusted tat ppl juz knew wat i wan? i guessed i shd hav learnt nvr 2 pin my hopes on anything since at the end of the day, i'm still stucked at i am & i dunno when can i go. this is really really sad 4 me. i walked into the ofc tdy realising all ard me r collz, not frens which meant i was bored out the whole time & i really wished itz the last time i ever had 2 be in tat place when i walked out tdy. i hope, i pin, i dream of the day i could finally do tat but tat day doesn't look in sight & i'm juz pretty upset.

SC said i wasn't making an effort 2 mix into HER group coz i cun join them again tmr nite but i already set up an appt. there is no way i'm dropping my long-time pals 4 an awkward session & i was informed by her only tdy. i find her words totally unfair but i din say much again, juz like how some unglamorous power struggles stuffs cnt be said 2 me but could be conveyed 2 others. it made me felt like a 2nd-grade fren & itz not the 1st time i felt left out like this. not tat we muz definitely share such stuffs but i guess tat feeling of left out is plain sucky when u tot we r quite gd pals. so i dunno if she will ever understand my situation like how i guess everyone will hav 2 suffice their secrets when i'm ard & i had 2 smile awkwardly when i dun understand their jokes if i ever join THEIR gathering. y shd i subject ppl & myself 2 the situation juz bcoz i wan 2 mix in & top of all, i'm not part of THEIR group? okok, i noe the argument, if i nvr ever try, i will forever be lonely. too bad 4 myself then but i juz dun feel like entertaining. i dun mean 2 complain but i hav been bottling it up 4 sometime.

is tat y i dun hav as much frens as i might hav like 2 hav? i'm comfy wif the current 'frens' state tho.

btw, i heard agnes b cheaper in japan & we juz got the tentative confirmation tat the trip is still on at this moment. i really hope the trip is on.

short short notes

2008-04-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

thy BF got a vy gd increment & some bonus, so i'm promised some material rewards...ha...tat shd cheer me a little. i guess i dun mind hvg more burberry blue label bags or some other nice stuffs i can find in japan...hee.

1 month 2 the japan trip...i really hope therez enough ppl 2 mk the tour. if not, we already hav aussie as a backup...not bad too...i'm quite pleased at the tot of gg back :)

CRAZY

2008-04-10T03:23:00.005+08:00

I muz let this madness stop! itz juz wk & wk & wk all the time! itz 3am & i'm really vy vy tired! i really felt like dying! who is still tying figures (another of the same species embroiled in this madness) at this hour when u cun even c properly! when can all this madness end? it has been long enough...i really cun take it anymore if it doesn't stop soon...this job nids so much time & attention tat i'm paying 4 it wif heavy consequences.

when can i hav my life back? when can i hav my time back?

soon soon...WTF, wat the all-4-the-future tat i got myself into this madness?! i can really hate myself at times.

happy April Fool's Day!

2008-04-01T22:54:00.004+08:00

i decided 2 loaf 4 a while tonite altho we r pending MIC review on thurs & PIC review on fri. nice. we juz went into the job tdy. nicer. so i tot a gd rest 4 me wld be gd 4 this final (i hope itz final) rush. the toughest period seems 2 be over yday. i tot i'll die coz so many times thru it, i tot i cun sustain but this is a total new experience. clearing stuffs wif the Empress of our firm...i tot she will boot me out soon but it nvr happened & she was more patient than i tot. the rush was horrible tho...hvg 2 sustain 16-20 hrs days over a whole week inclusive of weekends + tiring (16-20) days frm b4...i've been leading this life almost all the time since like sep? i really tot i'll die altho there were some slacks in between but since nov, itz like ki siao working. the finale ended wif me running 2 the same place 3 times yday. wah kaoz...i was dead tired, & i meant really terribly exhausted tat i can lie down & dun even wan move again. i nearly reached breaking point a few times coz it was juz amending & amending & amending & worse, i had 2 face slave driver 4 a week straight. tat can really kill. discussing wif the client till 5 am sure isn't the best way 2 start the weekend & knowing u hav 2 go back wk on a sunday at 9pm on saturday when u tot everything shd be okay aft the discussion wif client (until they peng & really wan give in) really tears me apart. i had 2 admit i really cun handle the stress anymore, so imagine the relief when the go-ahead was given 4 binding until the run-3-times but itz all over! i survived thru the shit! & i tin i left a mess back 2 slave driver 2 do the final clearing up! haha.

another rushed week has started. reporting is nex mon. nice. so we got like 3 days 2 clear everything? oh no, it shd be 1 or the MIC has nothing on thurs. i decided 2 push it 2 the back of my mind...& let all the rush start tmr. do i dread all these? i dunno also at times bcoz coming back 2 tin of it, it was vy satisfying 2 c the end-product but gg thru it was hell. i will not deny tat it has went thru my mind many times wat wld the scenario be if i shd choose 2 stay but everytime the stress came 2 boiling pt, all i wan 2 do is 2 escape frm it bcoz it has reached a pt where i dunno how i could handle it anymore. i cun channel my frustration. i got upset when i din perform up 2 the standard i tot i could reach. itz juz so easy 2 get all frustrated & juz snapped. i hate me in tat moment. no matter wat, i tot i shd keep my cool & maintain a high EQ when it comes 2 wk but i juz cun. maybe the stress was really too high & i was facing a person i really dread working wif but r they valid excuses? u might meet wif this everywhere...i dunno. i tin i'm at a lost on how 2 resolve this & i finally can empathatise wif wat CP told me earlier on y she wan quit come aug. even the used-to-be-super-on ken is adapting a heck-care attitude & seems wan 2 leave...hmm, the firm shd pay S-L J even more 2 get him 2 spread more propaganda but he's vy not free now...haha.

i hope no one cancels on the japan trip again coz we need at least 10 ppl 2 make the trip. kaoz. i dun wan 2 miss it aft like literally begging 4 my leave. yes, itz tat pathetic. i had 2 tok my way 2 get the leave. itz like so precious. haiz...maybe i can comfort myself wif the fact i'm quite impt 2 the team so MIC was adamant i be ard...haha. now i feel better...hahaha.

tdy's april's fool day but no one ard me seems 2 be in the mood 4 tricks...i tin everyone's real exhausted. the ofc crowd shrunk by a bit aft yday. more magical than Q-ing 4 hello kiity. so i kept forgetting tat tdy's april's fool day.

i'm not gg 2 david tao's concert lo. i found a perfect excuse. we r celebrating mum's bday. there will be some travelling over the nex 2 wks in the family. Bro's gg KL on a business trip this weekend & Sis' gg Penang over nex weekend & we r edging closer 2 the japan trip (which hopefully will not be cancelled).

btw, a little secret...something seems 2 be developing between FAT & Magic Pills. itz a bit of joke & topic in our family altho i tin mum din really wan 2 tok abt it on the surface but secretly, she's kaypoh too...hahaha. Sis set a 4 layer check 4 the guy 2 pass if they shd ever mk it tog...i tin we r all a bit protective over the little sister. i tin i'll be real sceptical & the guy has 2 do a bit 2 win me over...i'm the 3rd layer wif Sis being the final one. it sounds a bit weird but itz like this in my family, if Sis' okay, mum & dad shd be okies too, so thy BF has been approved by her. poor FAT's future will hav 2 pass more layers of approval. can take a leaf out of thy BF's book tho :P

tots b4 sleeping :x

2008-03-18T01:55:00.002+08:00

juz had a small cup of instant noodles, my dinner, supper or breakfast. had an unhappy day. was already tired enough as it is by the proceedings of normal routine wk when the day juz went downhill coz slave driver is aft me again. & the day juz buang. tears started 2 flow, all the stress coming on. i decided 2 face all like normal wk but in the end CFA settled 4 me. wat a cool aic...i enjoyed her email...& immediately shared it wif one of my closest work confidiante, S-L J (dun say nvr share gd stuffs wif u...haha) & i hope it perked up his day altho it was a bit late...ha. wahaha...a bit bad of me. If i got the chance, i will paste wat i said 2 him here, i'm quite proud i stood up 2 him. wat an asshole. I tin i worked better aft tat altho still real slow. I tin i'm exhausted at this juncture...i bet i'll be late again later altho i'm stopping now so i can mk it 2 wk earlier later. still got a lot 2 go :(

sat's SC's bday...i tin i shd be more patient at times...i also dunno watz wrong at times but she's still being a nice collz or rather, fren & amazingly, we r still hanging out wif each other. sometimes i hope i'll leave earlier than her coz i dun hav much frens at wk & i'll be real lonely if she leaves 1st. selfish tots :P

not much of happenings except wk, wk & more wk! haiz...wat a sad life. by the time i am free frm wk, itz almost time 2 leave. quite nice too. anticipative.

tdy's grandma's 6th death anniversary. how how fast. i started 2 tin a bit of the past, how i wld happily walked frm her place 2 the nearest mac 2 buy some fries & got all happy & proud of myself coz i was only in Primary 2. how sleepy days were spent at her place while mum went 2 play mj at some place we dun like. how she took care of us when FAT was borne. how she always look sad & lonely twds the end of her life. how it felt the morning we knew she's gone. how i cried my heart out the day b4 her cremation. i'm not especially close 2 her but she's like a integral part of my memories. i tin i felt especially sad when i tot of how she was pushed ard by my uncles during the last days of her life. is tat wat she deserved aft working hard her whole life? watz the use of wah, so many children or grandchildren or great-grandchildren at her funeral when no one really wanted her when she was still alive? i tot she's better off gone...she shd be happier. ah ma, r u? altho uncle still doesn't noe how 2 take care of himself or rather, he's escaping frm reality at times. we have nagged & scolded all we can but haiz. ur eldest great-grandson is having a shotgun marriage. a person might live only 4 a while but the memories left behind can be so vivid.

i felt i had 2 blog...

2008-03-13T01:21:00.003+08:00

i was surfing the asiaone website when ya, i saw australia again. i've said 4 the umpteenth time i wan go tasmania & adelaide & i managed 2 convince Sister tat nex yr's big trip wld be aus but SCC wld prob be bored out in tasmania? i have beautiful memories there & in my own selfish tots, i do wan visit brisbane again altho it'll be my 4th time there but therez something tat will stay etched in ur memories again. So nex, i'll convince everyone 2 start the trip at bris...they wld wan go gold coast bah which means i can go surfers' paradise again! haha.

we finally settled on the japan trip! we r gg osaka/kyoto/mt fuji/tokyo. all in 5 days.

excited:

have been researching on the places we'll be visiting...i tin i'm dying 4 a break (& a new job too). have been researching on where can i get burberrys blue label (thks baby!). been researching on wat universal studios & disneyland has. told FAT we will surely overspend & she seems afraid coz i tin we will lose ctrl. the trip has dented a hole in my savings, so i hav 2 wk harder 2 curb spending frm now till even the bangkok trip or i'll be broke till the end of the yr. oh, i shd research on the hot spring thingy at mt fuji, i tin we r all quite anticipative of this. woo...cun wait till may...

i finally broke down in office last fri. it was unexpected but i wasn't really happy abt it coz news really travelled fast. ppl can tin wat they wan regarding this but they dunno the real reason 4 it happening & i prob cun explain it tat well. so i really wait till seeing thy BF b4 unleashing all the tears the minute i got on the car. sorry baby, i noe it was hard 4 u...2 c me this way again & again over wk ever since u came back. u dun deserve this. it will be over soon. i feel vy tired suddenly...like i've aged overnite. i wish i can go back 2 my old corner where i'm only surrounded by ppl i wan 2 c & tok 2. i miss being surrounded by familiarity. i feel more comfortable wif thy BF's dogs than most ppl. i will find myself missing esp Ah Girl (MY dog) not seeing her 4 a while but there r a lot of ppl i rather i dun hav 2 socialise wif. missed the nhss days where altho i was hanging wif the same old ppl like everyday but i nvr felt tat uncomfortable. slowly i tin i understand myself, wat i really wan. i nvr felt comfortable in my current surroundings. how can it be healthy when u juz felt like hiding whenever wk is mentioned. thks 2 tat i hate sundays.

toking abt lighter stuffs...thy BF's dad's family business might be gg public. i was shocked. the shock is those kinda if-u-look-at-him-i-nvr-felt-like-he's-a-director's-son & now he's gonna be the son-of-a-director-of-a-public-listed-co. i juz felt quite weird. will always remember eliz's director joke...how we had 2 plot vy hard 2 mk him dump his vy horrible schoolbag & i simply wun be able 2 associate his dad is a director. ha. maybe itz my own family fortunes...my dad has been in the same position like all his life & when young, we din hav the luxury like anyone else. when everyone was playing sega, my bro (he's vy whiny & idiotic then, keeping asking 4 one) got a lousy TV games console which hung all the time & other sucky stuffs. maybe tatz y my aunts looked down on us then (yes, deep in my heart, i tin they used 2 look down on us, like how my dad is gg 2 remain poor forever & mum nvr went 2 sch, so i nvr liked entertaining them. thks 4 planting the desire 2 excel tho). so watching too much tv serials, i tin directors (not the shoot film one) r like big shots & when thy BF's belongings look like they hav been wif him like 4 as long as dad stayed in his position, i just cun put the father & son together. i tot a director's son wld behave the way they do on tv shows. i tin the job as more glamourous than it ever was. baby, i tin u'll understand wat i mean?

david tao is coming 2 town again but i hav no $$$ 2 watch him 4 a 3rd time liao. hav i really aged overnite? where hav all the excitement of seeing my fave singers experienced previously gone? is it bcoz i've been seeing less of shiling 2 be affected? or maybe i'll be gg wif her 2 genting 2 c mayday soon? haha...sounds quite unlike me altho they r gd. i hvn even been seeing francis the magician online. his absence is felt as he used 2 be online during this kinda hrs in the past, so i can find someone 2 tok 2 at this wee hrs when i'm bored out by the wk. wk is boring enough & i'm further bored out, can imagine the gratitude when someone toks 2 me...haha. it seems like only a while ago we were meeting week in week out & shiling's psm loves speculating abt us all the time...haha. i tin i do really miss these buncha frens. i shd mk the effort 2 sleep less & meet them more often. or gals, if u c this, meet me k? haha. wld anyone still be interested in a chalet?

saw this frm a website: meaning of chanea: oak wood

huh? at least itz an elegant substance? maybe i shd drop cherie and name my daughter tat in future but i dunno the pronounciation exactly.

itz 8.23am & 12 degrees Celsius in Chanea, Crete, Greece now. tin i'll go dream i'm there now :P

BAS****

2008-03-06T23:27:00.002+08:00

my better mood for the coming weekends was spoilt by this idiot, asshole, bastard or watever u can tin of. u cun get him on the phone 4 the whole day when u nid help. tat bastard doesn't noe therez no internet access at client's place & my hp had 2 go out of batt. he doesn't wan 2 reply on issues tat u nid him 2 solve & in the end, he pushes the thing 2 u back! juz bcoz he has got a lot of jobs doesn't mean he can behave like this, throwing stuffs like nobody's business & providing no guidance or assistance at all. who the hell ask him 2 take more than he can cope! & the firm can tolerate this kind of nonsense. no wonder everyone had 2 leave. i'm thinking of throwing him this letter when i quit:

Dear BASTARD,

it was hell working with u & itz not even fair 2 describe u come frm hell bcoz u r worse than that. u r really terrible as a superior, as a co-worker & as human. no wonder no one can really sympathise wif u if u really coughs out blood. no wonder everyone tries 2 avoid u like plague, yes plague, bcoz we r afraid of the germs & not U! u r pathetic really, dun u tin so? u shall get justification 4 all these or u hav already bcoz...always remember, someone is watching & judging by ur idiotic face, u wun hav ur way forever. lastly, i hope u live well & long, away frm everyone.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i feel better.

curry & curry...lotus root soup & lotus root soup

2008-02-27T23:27:00.003+08:00

i'm hvg some pros wif the tummy (again). itz like stomachache & diarrhoea & i dunno wat it is. i had western med yday & po ji wan tdy. i had curry yday & tdy. great.

thy BF's mum & my mum might secretly hav some therapy thing gg. my mum cooked curry 4 my grandma's death anniversary yday & this aft, i reci a sms frm thy BF telling me his mum cooked curry tdy. 1st OMG. when i reached his place, there was lotus root soup also. FAT is off frm wk tmr & she's gonna ask mum 2 cook her 拿手 lotus root soup (baby, so u noe watz 4 dinner tmr...ha). Great. 2nd OMG. come 2 tin of it, itz quite amazing & amusing.

went 4 an interview tdy. not a bad experience but i started pondering if i shd accept if they EVER offer bcoz i've been receiving some calls frm agents lately altho there still isn't much gg on but itz still a gd sign. 2 quote thy BF: 守得云开见月...hopefully lah :)

tdy SK & i had this nice kopi & toast at this kopi stall at golden shoe. both of us reckon itz the best ard the area so far & the stall looks rather nice. i kinda miss the toast now. nvm, therez tmr which is my last day on my fave job 4 the peak. gg back 2 slave driver frm fri :(

making some more research on japan & getting pretty excited. was chatting wif SK over kopi abt travel & i juz feel so so happy tat i'm gg somewhere soon altho the trip is not booked yet. FAT juz applied 4 the dbs takashimaya card which offers discount at takashimaya japan! hopefully we hav time 2 go there. personally i'll love 2 visit mt fuji 4 the fresh air...ooh. therez quite a bit 2 look fwd 2...1st offpeak (yay!), 2nd japan (Yay!), 3rd off days & more off days (YAy!), 4th bangkok (YAY!) & oh yes, getting a burberrys blue label bag 4 my bday (!!!). someone promised this & i write it down 1st...heehee :p

k...time 2 give back the com 2 FAT so she shuts it down later...ha

cun wait...

2008-02-25T23:38:00.002+08:00

juz finished reading my frens' blogs 2 get some updates on their lives. sometimes we r so caught up wif life, sometimes i'm (or we) so lazy, we dun meet up as much like b4 or bcoz i'm meeting thy BF like everyday? heehee :P

i had a super slack day tdy & this shd continue 4 the nex 2 days. i cun help but kept declaring itz my fave job out of the whole damn peak. SK 'accompanied' (i tin he wans slack also...hahaha) me 2 orchard 4 the agency interview & we ended up shopping at tangs till like 3pm...OMG, no one shd noe abt this. btw, there r some pretty gd stuffs at tangs. they r hvg a sale. i wonder wat stunt r we coming up wif tmr...altho i hav another agency interview tmr. things seem 2 be looking up a bit...juz when i got a bit used 2 things...hmm, it makes me a bit happy altho i tin i will juz buang it. i literally stuttered when the lady asked me 2 describe myself...i cun stand this. y muz i describe myself everytime?! i'm so so sian...& i ended up blabbering nonsense (again). & SK was so confident i'll get the job when i'm like i will buang bah, i hope the interviewer dun asks too much. btw, SK is this damn clever guy wif like a double major & he got 1st class honours, plans 2 go 2 an ivy league 4 mba...wah lau, i felt a tad inadequate 2 him. i juz wan 2 hav time 2 slack all i wan, enough $$$ 2 tour ard the world (& if best, dun wk) & hvg my loved ones ard me...& quit this stupid job. i visited thy BF's workplace yday & i tin itz nice. No office environment can be worse than ours liao, i felt like i'm in some pig sty at times.

juz cfm will be gg bangkok wif the nua-z team in jul. will be stucked wif killer most of the time coz ZJ & SQ r gg 2 phuket 1st, so following killer who sounds like she's all ready 2 mk a kill 4 the shopping & we'll be taking tiger which i've nvr been on. shd also be concluding the japan trip this wk wif the natas fair coming up...so excited albeit wif a bit of guilt coz i had 2 go off at a crucial part of a job but well, i dun tin i'm tat irreplaceable & i'm pretty sure my junior can do a gd job :). doing some research on burberrys blue label which is only available in japan, i got FAT excited too. oh ya, we went 2 Q 2 get into LV last sat bcoz FAT's best fren, Yami (short 4 yami yoghurt, eliz might remember...hahahah) wanted 2 get a wallet. there r so many rich ppl ard man. tat we hav 2 Q in even get in. none of us got anything altho even Sister was rather tempted. i wasn't...maybe bcoz i hav the purse & wallet liao...haha but i saw a nice male wallet which i wld hav got 4 thy BF if i had seen it like 2 yrs earlier.

was watching thy BF playing his game last nite when therez this computer character wif the words 'slave driver' in the name. brings a chill 2 me. cun wait 4 march 2 be over so tat i wun hav anything 2 do wif him anymore. i'm not afraid of him. i juz detest working under him which will land me in an unhappy period which is till 31 mar.

looking thru some of the japan tours...getting excited :P

irritating...

2008-02-19T01:59:00.002+08:00

i juz wanted 2 go sleep but the damned notebook refuses 2 shut down! ##$%^&&****(%$$

itz bad enough tat i'm in an unhappy job. ki siao liao :(

at 2.01am, i accidentally restarted the com! wat am i doing 2 myself?!

sometimes i really felt like throwing the notebook on the wall 2 vent my frustrations. altho it has been wif me 4 1 & a half yrs & i probably might miss it when itz gone but itz juz irritating now.

tok abt ending monday blues :((((((((((((((((((

now it shuts down finally :x

二月咯...

2008-01-31T23:08:00.000+08:00

thk god january's over. i've crossed my 1st hurdle. tasted how the big rush can be like. i cun take 18-20 hrs days 4 long...much less than say 2 sustain it 4 a mth. i can feel my heavy eyelids trying 2 close. itz really a crazy crazy rush 2 the end. luckily Shake-Leg J is ard (Y NVR REALLY SHAKE LEG?). i was asking him this qn everyday & not a day passed by w/o us trying 2 get ZJ back & thinking how better it will be wif her ard. i enjoyed this interactive moments wif my collz. i've known ppl during this yr which i knew has become my frens (altho not much of them). sometimes i tin the current environment can be rather special. i get 2 brush my shoulders wif a lot of diff kinds of ppl. i might not c it now but i felt i hav grown more as a person, got stronger (i tin) & better knowledge. i'm still amazed at the array of knowledge i came across at times which is wat i came 4 altho itz a harsh realistic world.

speaking of the job, i'm glad i got 2 noe 3 nice 'old' ladies...sometimes u muz believe yuan fen...out of so many ppl, i juz tot i can really click wif them & there r such enjoyable moments until they left 1 by 1 & when we meet now, we came frm all directions...ha but i'm gg 2 make sure i join u gals come jul or aug...ha! missed out on the afternoon ang pau exchange session bcoz we were rushing, rushing & rushing. yes, an ang pau exchange session when only Flying Killer (or Fly Sky Kill Hand according 2 silly SQ) can distribute ang paus...so auntie & their lunch update only serves 2 remind the funny (or awkward?) times we cun decide where 2 eat, go aft eating...itz a really buang team but hanging out is fun. will always remember the monopoly at the c-thru-thing at cineleisure. some silly stuffs. others inclusive of gg all the way 2 katong 4 5* chicken rice & ended wif lo hei wif cornflakes which SQ & i r extremely sore abt. ha. S-L J & i were saying how nice if these 3 r ard tdy 2 help wif our job coz they were all on the job previously, then we can literally shake leg liao...haha. my shake-leg job nex wk has been postponed which meant i hav 2 spend my morn on CNY eve in ofc :(

HX-killer seems 2 be really sick...he's coughing all the time. i'm afraid i'll get infected. i dunno. i hav mixed feelings abt this person but i'm quite happy tat wif my current state, he's not looking 4 me. he forced me 2 unleash the low-EQ behaviour i dun like when i'm working. btw, tin he's the most hated guy in the dept now. he unites the assistants who worked under him. dun wish my time on wat scary things he can do but 2 illicit such contempt isn't easy too. wonder how he really really feels abt all these.

juz checked the hdb website...the number isn't as scary as the prev one. thy BF says he has a gd feeling abt this one. i tot it will be nice if we can move on or i tin we r kinda stucked & the current situation cun be improved 2 help. 肯 was asking abt the wedding venue but no place 2 stay, wat wedding 2 tok abt? hmm, i've been trying 2 save hard & the busy schedule is helping a bit coz i dun hav much time 2 shop, miss all the sales = lesser new clothes, shoes, bags & other accessories or is it bcoz thy BF has been paying 4 things? haha. i'm quite pleased but not satisfied coz a conversation wif S-L J strucked (i noe itz like tat lah but it juz strucks me again) me tat if we get a ready flat, my savings might be gone soon. i often ponder is it i spend too much in the past or i was already earning vy little? looking at the bursting wardrobe, i tin i noe y :P

CNY is coming which also meant 双方家人就要见面。 yes, itz 双方家人 & not only 双方家长 coz both our families r gg 2 genting tog. not literally tog bcoz we r borrowing transport. we were pondering abt how shd be it be like when the parents met. it all seems a bit weird 4 me.

i got 2 sleep. 睡是为了能走更长远的路 :)

yucks...

2008-01-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

abt 2 start wk :(

cun wait 4 all these 2 end :D

b4 the MAD rush...

2008-01-08T00:39:00.000+08:00

i decided 2 capture my tots b4 the mad rush begins...

in the best simulation, this shd be the worst week 4 this peak. it looks better when Jan is over. hope i'll be fine. i noe i'll prob not be. i'll be working under the most dreaded (i tin) guy in our dept.

lately i hav this craze over watching the jap version of meteor garden. i tin everyone has this fairy-tale thing in their mind. we all do fantacise a tad dun we? i'm sure every girl dun mind a tsukasa in their mind & a rui as a gd fren :P i'm contemplating buying the dvd or wat coz i keep missing the show. itz gd 2 indulge in such things once in a while. being in reality 4 a long time juz tires u out. i mean i can feel reality at wk all the time & i wk such long hrs, so itz scary. yday XY was asking me abt nice getaways & i recommended perhentian. despite not knowing wat i'm in 4 when i decided 2 go on the trip, itz 1 of my most memorable & nicest getaway ever. i tin i'll remember the hut, nice meals (altho we got sotong every meal), clear blue water, picturesque scenery, snorkelling (altho i cun swim & drank a lot salty seawater) and juz hanging out 4 a long long time. how nice.

went 2 JB over the weekend & added more items 2 thy BF's wardrobe...he got a real colourful wardrobe (*proud look on the face)...haha.

i was toking 2 ivy juz now & we were missing the gd old times at lecture again...those kinda get-old-remember-past thing. itz sometimes hard how 2 believe how fast things r gg & how things hav changed...even looking at ur surrounding tdy & tmr & finding them different. i was reading abt the interview zoe tay gave abt her being 40 & started wondering how wld it be like when i'm 40? will i be a career woman or maybe a hag then? i look at the younger ppl ard me all the time & sometimes amazed how time hav passed...even FAT is turning 21 k? OMG, it seems like yday she's doing silly stuffs (okay, she still is doing them all the time, the latest being her getting out of m'sia w/o the chop on her passport) & chubby (or fat, if u like), now she's a grown-up girl, working and can enter genting casino liao. well, my uncle loves 2 bring it up everytime. i dun understand the excitement. 2 me at times, she remains a little girl...i dunno...itz like maybe my mum watching us & thinking we r kids all the time? altho i hope she can stop liking cyndi wang, watching a show repeatedly (it reminds me of a FREN & she noes who she is) & stop complaining she is fat coz she is big (in my opinion) & not fat.

hmm, this seems like a nice post...took my mind off wk. juz finished some & starting some more again later. i support the fact tat we shd hav more life...working too much is not gd.

survivor

2007-11-26T22:37:00.000+08:00

itz really nice 2 hear updates abt ur frens. counting, i hvn seen the odeon gang 4 sometime lo. ever since kelly & juliet left their respective places, everyone seems 2 be busier. somehow somewhere in my mind, the gd old days r playing. i started missing those days when i needed a fax machine. this wun be a pro in the gd old days. & i wun hate gg 2 wk...haiz. the gang seems so so busy these days i hardly get an update abt them, maybe i was real busy. i tot i will die during the past 2 wks where i worked 16hrs days almost everyday thru saturdays & public hols. i woke up 2 wk, came home only 2 sleep & i can dun c my sisters 4 a whole week & they SHARE a room wif me! tat was real exagerrating. i slept thru my sundays like a mad hog. i almost broke my record reaching home at 3.45am. i really wish i dun hav 2 go thru the torture of trying 2 sustain things the nex day or the nex nex days when u slept at 4am, then knowing u'll be lucky 2 reach home at 2am the nex. & damn, itz not even the peak & this is not even a big job. i can feel my brains sleeping even when i'm awake. i hope i can get thru this physical & mental torture came jan. i tin TAT job shd be the toughest one working wif a super slave driver. itz tough stucked in the middle wif NO authority at times. ur subordinate's suffering & looking 2 u & u tried ur best in toking 2 the top, yet no solution came out of it. ppl tin we shd complain but deep down inside, we all wonder if any actions will be taken. ended up we juz wan 2 get it over & done wif. sometimes i wished i had more guts, maybe life will be better. maybe i'm expecting too much of myself at times too, maybe tat is the best way? i dunno, no one can provide a gd answer.

spent the day trying 2 reflect & hide...haiz, $$$ are really hard 2 earn these days. u really hav 2 wk till vomit blood & worst, they might not let u off then. there were times when i tot itz the same as last yr & i shd relax a bit but things r even tougher this yr, yet i tot i wan hold on 4 tat pay increment, so i'm biting nails & tooth 2 hold on. it will be worthed. i can look fwd 2 the cny genting trip 4 middle of peak, & THE trip 4 the end of it. cun wait.

something perkier: Ann keeps wanting 2 go st james powerstation 4 some reasons...but S & i tot we more suited 4 family-friendly games & K! YAY! i reckon ZJ will agree too. maybe we shd all practise mj, so we hav excuses 2 meet up when we r real old...hee :P

i finally saw the movie promo 4 Chipmunks...SC kept saying Shake-Leg J (dun shake until cnt-stop hor) looked like one of them & i totally can only recall 3 squirrels. She was like S-L J looked like this one & i was totally 'huh?'. quite funny too...oh, tat also reminds me of funny 'mickey mouse' incident...haha. the job is fun at times. at times only. wif the rite ppl.

lastly, hope i survive this wk fine.

2 update my wishlist:

1) The Creative player doesn't hav a 'hold' function, so i'm pondering again. i tin i'll drop it in the end :) saves $$$
2) The wristlet. S's fren cun find one tat fitted my budget (which i tin might be quite ridiculous...haha), so i tot i'll get it online.
3) New job. i sent my CV somewhere again. i hvn sent it 2 S!!! but then again, i tin her organisation might be flooded by my CVs...haha.

wishlist

2007-11-22T00:13:00.000+08:00

i hav 3 things on my mind.

1) a Creative MP3 player (pinkie :))
2) a Coach wristlet
3) a new job

the 3rd one seems a bit unachievable at the mo. the other 2 might do fine & they fit my budget altho it will be vy vy nice if i can find a nice website which ships coach products. they r real cheap in the US.

i'll make do wif these at the mo :)

dun read this post :P

2007-10-23T00:51:00.000+08:00

the rain is still gg on...but i tin itz a rather nice nite...& i juz shut down the notebook 2 prepare 4 bed.

monday is over! how how nice...which means the weekend is approaching...i love weekends...itz slacking time!

quite a bit of stuffs hav happened lately...writing down them all wld be quite a bit...hmm, leave it 4 a great memory day.

as i wrote, the rain seems 2 be getting heavier. i shd sleep or i wun even be able to wake up tmr.

i hope thy BF gets his due tmr. baby, i tin i feel more nervy than u but i tin u deserve all of it...ha.

lastly, i hope everything will be smooth again tmr =)

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......................................

oh, a funny thing happened tdy. my AM's actually wearing the same specs frame as me! how vy weird...i wish i had my new pair done earlier.

oh, i'm quite proud of myself lately. i hvn been shopping much. i am saving $$$ *proud look on the face but...i nid 2 figure out how 2 trf $$$ properly into my SCB a/c 2 earn more interest. it fails everytime. i dun tin itz user pro (i SERIOUSLY DOUBT SO)...muz be the bank.

oh, itz getting heavier & heavier! i shd go 2 my cozy bed asap.

BLUE-y...

2007-09-09T23:01:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling super BLUE now. the shit will start as early as tmr...oh, the 3 mths of slacking has ended! i miss the gd old days. will miss all the lunches, tea breaks & most imptly, gg home early! wuwu...

meet up wif S & ZJ yday...& we laughed our heads over SPF 200 products & ended the day angry (almost) coz we were denied a proper K-session coz they ate into our time...we only sang 4 2 & a half hrs & it cost $31! me & S were whining & grumbling...we were hvg a vy gd time altho our eyes r closing on us. it was also a super full day coz we were almost eating & drinking all the time frm thai express, billy bombers 2 K. i tin the tummy & bladder working super hard...ha. i started 2 miss this time last yr...when we were gg 4 the same job but i had much lesser responsibilities & dun hav 2 care so much. i can feel the stress seeping in liao...hmm, i got 2 take some deep breaths & cool down...relax. i completed the sinful weekend wif botak jones juz now...itz not tat nice in my opinion.

saw wenwei at paragon yday...still crappy as usual & YES, his hp no. nvr chg & we ended up calling him 4 the exact location of botak jones tdy also. i dun seem 2 c my frens nowadays...i ponder abt it at times & i do get a bit upset at times when i read some stuffs yet the inner me did not feel like doing anything. am i the one thinking a lot but a lot of chgs hav been taking place bah? i cun seem 2 pin my tots on it at times.

我虽然不爱孤单却也不怕孤单

i tin this wks 4 me a lot. my tots r disoriented at this juncture...i tin itz the sleepiness & the shit awaiting frm tmr :x

PEEPERS!!!

2007-09-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

something sad happened tdy. Hotmail & YAhoo Mail have been blocked in ofc! YES, itz BLOCKED. CP & i had some hoo-hah over it. we juz cun believe it happened...when will we lose gmail too? i feel so disconnected. we can only rely on the silly ofc email so tat perhaps they can spy us? haiz...life juz gets sadder when i cfm i hav 2 do 1 of my dreaded jobs. I wish i'm like SC who seems 2 be able 2 leave...SAD! training is ending soon which means the wk will start soon. a meeting on mon left me feeling a tad stressed again & i hav been gg thru the wk in my head like a few hundred times? in the best simulation, i shd be a gd guide & everything shd go fine (like they said: itz easy)...ya rite, y cun they bloody understand...i tin they got poor memories & cun remember wat they went thru. okay, i can look fwd 2 the japan trip nex yr. oh man...i cun c the bangkok trip frm here...someone/thing save me!

no interviews so far...i got sad again naturally...this kinda things mks u lose confidence. either my resume is really really bad or wat i've been doing so far isn't quite rite...i really dunno. i cun take leave on thy bf's bday. i feel so bad & SAD again.

seems like quite a bit of sad things taking place...wat shd i comfort myself wif? food? clothes? hmm...maybe i shd meet S on sat aft all...we can laugh like mad again...seeing her poked face...wahahaha.

juz caught ratatouille (is it correctly spelled?)...itz rather nice...the rat's quite cute. tatz all...i dun wan someone 2 peep at me typing.

【迦南美地】

2007-08-16T00:12:00.000+08:00

我们在不同的环境下慢慢长大

用着不同的想法看着世界变化

直到我们相遇的那一刹那

心与心的碰触开始为彼此牵挂

浪漫的故事写下了一篇篇情话

虽然动人的情节难免会有分叉

但有着爱的缘故,我就不怕

直到天上来的祝福充满着希望

不管在哪里只要和你在一起

就像走进了迦南美地

每一处都有甜蜜布满空气

爱情的真谛没有什麽能代替

不管在哪里只要和你在一起

就像走进了迦南美地

每一天躺进爱里握住生命

来不及回忆拥有温馨的爱意

在你我心里

【迦南美地】在兩千年前，是上帝賜給人們耕耘家園、經營夢想的應許之地，它被形容是一個流著牛奶與蜜之地，充滿著甜美的花香和豐碩的果實，代表著希望、歡樂、幸福與滿足！雖然在現實生活裡，處處充滿挫折、不安、悲傷和猜忌，人們逐漸失去了夢想，但在「迦南美地」，人們沒有貧窮、飢餓，毋須擔心、驚嚇，歡樂取代了憂傷，幸福填補了傷痛！

就这样被歌词感动了。。。虽然非常简单，却那么轻易打动人心。

接下来的路不知是怎样，就像照片里的一样的不知往何处，但不管如何都要咬紧牙关过去。。。终究会找到迦南美地。对于人生，我还是充满期许，毕竟快乐的事情和遇到的好人比较多。所有一切努力只为未来。。。而想着未来，我想我是幸福的：）

blabberings b4 sleep...

2007-08-14T23:38:00.000+08:00

throat still feeling a bit sore at times...therez still phelgm...i'm still sick? itz not bcoz i'm back 2 wk. i suppose me, S & J were rather noisy tdy...but they wun be ard anymore frm nex mon...how sad but all the best 2 them & DUN EVEN FORGET those internal postings! bye bye S...my dear lunch kaki & ki siao collz...

3 more days 2 go b4 weekend & nex break...how nice! & it might be hell aft tat...coz nobody has called me up rdg any jobs yet, so i guess i might hav 2 stay & 忍过 everything.

tmr's papa's bday...me & wws went 2 buy a gift 4 him juz now & i kept asking him: wat shd i buy if itz ur dad? i seriously tin i hav pro buying gifts 4 his family...coz they look like they hav most of the stuffs unlike my parents whom we hav 2 force them 2 buy things at times, so we ended up buying 4 them.

yawnz...

tummy aches...

2007-07-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

juz had diarrhoea & the tummy still feels bad...so i ate bao qi wan & hope it wks...

it shd be the following which is causing the major discomfort:
- been eating too much junk fd lately: i'm craving 4 fd all the time, juz ask thy BF...it was rather bad;
- the bbq meal on sat...too much chilli, thy BF had his D the whole day yday. the fd wasn't tat gd & we had 2 suffer...the stall is boycotted by us liao.
- ate too much at ajisen juz now...maybe thy tummy doesn't like my menu 4 the whole day liao & i had 2 strain it 4 1 more time juz now.

anyway, i feel better now. tin the pills wks :) dun really wish 2 take mc tmr. dun wan 2 justify myself as MC Q. hmm, i tin i am...other than ZJ...haha.

it was nice 2 c NHSS gang juz now...how time has filed. A Drain is getting married nex yr...wah...nvr really expected him 2 be the 1st out of us all. he seems like a little boy yday. everyone has really got their own life & path altho when u start toking abt the gd old times, it always felt itz only yday since we kept hanging out tog almost everyday. itz juz a diff feeling hanging out wif these buncha frens...u c how everyone has grown & chg (altho some ppl seems 2 remain the same) over the yrs...i wonder how it will be like when we become parents. i wonder how coconut will be in future (or will he come out aft all =P) & will we be gd parents (i sure he's a gd kid) or i might go crazy like yinghui...haha.

so itz the start of a new wk again. i got some 'serious' wk 2 complete which i hope i can? luckily (& hopefully) got S 4 company & we can laugh our heads off again. we had starbucks, coffee bean & spinellis 4 lunch 3 days last wk, so i can say starbucks got this nice chicken sandwich, coffee bean got this nice chicken pasta & spinellis got this nice ebony cake. cun decide who had the better coffee, they all taste rather similar...normal kopi is nicer & cheaper...ha.

a bit tired liao...shd sleep.

i'll stop, no migraine pls.

2007-07-04T00:43:00.000+08:00

super cute (in me & Fat's opinion) baby pooh frm hk...fat wans 2 more & 肯先生 was nice enough 2 help buy (no promise he'll be even 2 get one or the rite ones...haha...reminds me of S, a great lunch kaki, remember the crazy vivocity lunch...maybe nex wk). wanted it as a phone pouch but decided itz a waste. still no pants tho...even the baby is 暴露狂...bad toy...haha.

i'm in a crisis now...my resume & cover letter badly nids a revamp or i'm nvr even gg 2 find a job & tat will mean staying in current job! OH NO!! DUN WAN!! WUWU!! anyone wif an updated resume or cover letter 2 help? gosh, i cun stand the tot of myself staying beyond aug. will get help no matter wat, getting out is priority no. 1!

time 2 sleep...dun wan the migraine again tmr =(

countdown 2 nex break: 25 days!! too long lah...

btw, the 1st person who traumatised me downright on my 1st job in XX has quitted! someone says time will heal all wounds...i tin itz rather applicable coz as the traumatisation goes twds a 1-yr anniversary, i'm starting 2 tin itz not tat bad aft all, juz tat it was my 1st time & it went tat way. there r worse ppl ard anyway. itz bad news 4 S tho...wonder how she will react.

i tin i'm a stubborn person...& am i vy insistent on my views? probably...i find it contradicting...my views made me who i am yet i hav 2 learn 2 succumb 2 other views at times. hmm, well, ya baby, listening is gd too =)

i'm a bit hooked on House & CSI NY lately...the atmospheres r rather diff in the 2 shows & they provide a gd mix. therez sort of hunks in both shows which doesn't hurt at all...keke. itz a take away frm reality at times too, while i'm amazed at the technology they used in the show, wat happened in the shows seems too gd 2 be true at times. murders get solved & murderers get caught all the time & therez a genius doctor ard. how nice. maybe eric cartman is more realistic. a bad encounter on a bus ride last sat convinced me our younger generation might be heading cartman's way...swearing at a young age. they reckon itz cool...hopefully they will noe wat an embarrassment they r 1 day.

damn, bobby chinn world asia (or some title) is on tv now...a show i wanted 2 catch 4 sometime 2 c if itz nice as i tot.

sure hope therez no migraine later.

btw, transformers was rather nice. i like bumblebee, he's cute & yellow. optimus prime was rather charming. they shd give the autobots more screen time...they r cuter. megatron is yucky tho, he looks like Green Goblin enlarged.

AH, pls dun give me the migraine!!

btw, i wonder y my migraine is back big time nowadays, i juz tot i hadn't had it 4 sometime the other day & it has haunted me again...haiz.

okay, bedtime. no tv, computer, juz sleep.

shit, now i'm afraid of insonmia =(

coz even tho i go 2 bed tired nowadays, i can end up tossing & turning & not being able 2 sleep =(

1 of those kinda days again...

2007-06-13T00:13:00.001+08:00

i shd be sleeping...itz only wed...cun help but wish time pass faster at times. rather contradictory, i dun wan 2 grow old tat soon, wan 2 continue enjoying things i love but hope unpleasant things can pass faster. am i someone who craves a lot 4 freedom or itz the circumstances i'm in now...i wish i hav the time & $$$ 2 do wat i like...i muz be patient...all will come soon...i muz wk hard.

hmm, missing this place a tad...hard 2 believe it has been a few yrs liao...

btw, starhub is increasing cable tv prices again ... $$%%^&^*( ( @@ ... as a finance person, i understand the need 4 profits but i cun help feeling let down as a consumer...time & again, we r being made 2 pay 4 profits like even public tpt which concerns public interest but therez no improvement in the services at all. sometimes we cun be blamed 4 being nonchalant twds country matters bcoz itz really so-wat-if-we-speak-up, sometimes we r still being completely ignored. no one seems interested in our words & how tough everything is getting 2 be.

itz 1 of these nites i dun seem 2 wan sleep but reality mks it tat i hav 2...hope all working days pass by vy quickly vy soon!!!

slacking day 1...hopefully

2007-06-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

itz a tad of a crazy day tdy...1st thing in the morn, i tot i'll be slacking the whole day at wk...how nice. then S & Jenn tempted me 4 k-lunch & we set off in less than 20 mins...OMG!! shhhhhhhhhhhh...this is a secret. we were so surprised 2 find a Q in front of us, well, we basically tin we can hav the whole place 2 us since itz tat early...bad bad bad. the 3 of us were so excited we were laughing like crazy throughout the ktv, we couldn't finish our songs...i tried 2 sing a-mei's cinderella & basically only sang this syallable throughout the entire song bcoz i was laughing vy badly. btw, the lunch was nice...nicer than cck's...gd but we got so tired in the end, we were inserting each other's songs 2 avoid singing...haha. nice times, great company...something memorable again. not 2 mention the scare i had at the start of session...got a call frm ofc saying they nid my help & i had the guts 2 say aft lunch...okay, wat i was asked 2 help was nothing impt anyway...i spent the rest of the aft asking & finding ppl if i can help...bliemy...& doing a despatch & righting something umprofessional i was forced 2 do earlier. the day is still quite gd.

i got worried abt my prospects aft gg 4 an agency interview last wk & i was bawling over it aft tat...poor bf who had 2 scold & comfort me...vy poor thing...haiz. tried 2 tin abt happier things...but U told me this morn my pro nvr occured 2 him b4...hmm i nid 2 find out more frm him.

gg back 2 wk was vy tough this morn aft a 2 wks' break...luckily itz a slacking day...missing hk a bit...& i wondered y. i tin i love hols & not being in sg nowadays. hk was vy vy sunny & hot but i wld say itz a great trip except i can better ctrl myself at times. the senior citizen's club can be frustrating at times. maybe the only regret was not hvg enough time 2 c macau. obviously shuttling between the casino & ferry terminal & walking a bit ard the area isn't seeing macau but well, SCC was vy happy abt the trip, so tat mks it...it was 4 this main purpose tat we r there. 2 some surprises, i din buy a lot there...therez really a diff between travelling wif frens or family sometimes...SCC looks so sian half the time we shopped but we hav 2 let FAT shop mah. our fave part of the trip was the buddha statue on lantau island...it was gigantic & grand...vy magnificent...& we had a vy hard time climbing the 200+ flights of steps...was panting vy badly by the time i reached...nids more exercise huh. the bus ride up the PEak was rather exciting...like a rollercoaster ride but itz an entirely diff experience frm the tram & i got 2 c the wonderful night view...it was vy beautiful & sadly, our skyline really dun match 2 theirs...therez really no fight. the wax muesum was a letdown tho...maybe i was expecting more. it ended so suddenly & i even specially cut short the causeway bay shopping trip 2 accomodate it, not 2 mention the jay chou is not anywhere near the real thing & looks scary. disneyland was so-so in my view but still worthed a look coz itz disneyland & we already spent quite a bit at the emporium b4 touring the other parts. it was rather small & all the rides are vy family-friendly. donald duck seems 2 be hvg a break tho...din c him anywhere 4 photo-taking...anti-social.

ooh...tin this is enough...time 2 sleep & hope itz another slacking day tmr.

blessings frm buddha:

i nid 2 be satisfied wif life & wat it has given me so far. be patient.

the most disgusted day of my life so far...

2007-05-23T01:08:00.000+08:00

i'm totally disgusted!! i nvr tot i'll meet someone like this in my life...mks me lose control & if i really can, i'll kick him 2 mars man. always pushing us 2 the forefront & throwing all the stuffs at us, dunno wat they paid him 4...we r so desparate 4 ppl tat any idiot can join us & get paid so much but leaves all the jobs 2 the rest...wat kinda shit is this?! & we hav 2 ensure all these shit, i hope he gets a vy long & good scolding tmr (this is bad i noe :p). i get so totally stressed...my gum ache (i keep telling everyone i tin it might be gum cancer...S said i'm exagerrating again...but y not, i hav been feeling stressed 4 a prolonged period) is back wif utter vengenace...itz hurting more than b4...my mom wld say i 发热 (tatz wat SC said too but she din discourage me 2 not hav fries this aft...bad fren). thy BF tries 2 console me by suggesting an infection but i'm not hvg a fever (we came up wif this theory of confirming that u hav an infection...tat is 2 hav fever bcoz itz the 1st sign ur body's fighting against the infection), so itz not an infection which i love 2 believe too...sob. i'm also stucked betweem seeing a doctor or dentist 4 it...y muz such things happen? bad karma? maybe laughing too much opening abt shiling & secretly abt her pri sch mate does reap its cause...i shd try 2 refrain but i'm seeing her again this fri...oops.

i juz remembered something & wan 2 use this 2 remind thy BF, yes the HK trip is less than a wk away...so where is my headphone cover & the southpark episodes tat were supposed 2 go into the hp? heehee

i wish 2 go 4 a haircut...swim again...hopefully i can do them over the weekend altho i reckon i shd be busy packing too.

i hope this wk will pass by vy fast...i wanted 2 fainted when an email told me i hav 2 rack my brains like mad 4 something like i did 2 mths ago...pls stop asking me 2 ans something i did way back...my brains nid a break too & i'm still using it now. i nid some leisure.

blabberings again...

2007-05-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

itz supposed 2 be a nice job 2 bring into off-peak but i noe i cun be tat lucky. i passed tdy wif more disgust & irritation. i stepped into the meeting room tdy 2 c someone i'm (or rather everyone on the team) really pissed wif these days. much as he's a real eye-opener, he's the lousiest one too, everyone had 2 agree, even the In***** cun fight. the company is really operating like a charity at times or rather, 2 quote when a resource mgt staff once told me, we always nid ppl. ya, how rite. frm our new collz 2 these...great man, they reaffirm my desparate desire 2 leave. i cnt afford suffering another almost-attack hvg 2 wk wif/under them again. maybe wking wif the former is better now tho, i hav 2 chk wif U again. itz off-peak & also the time 4 a lot of ppl 2 start counting their time down wif the co. looking back, i nvr wan go thru the peak again but i've worked wif some impressive ppl & earned some friendship out of it...seen some real lousy stuffs. itz a rewarding experience aft all...i like 2 tin i've matured more wif this experience. i got 2 experience diverse working styles, stretching the tolerance level, getting nonchalant abt ppl's sarcasim, nagging, scolding, accusing & fingers pointing frm all fronts. there were times i was close 2 bursting into tears on the job bcoz i really really dun tin or wan 2 do it anymore. i like 2 tin i shd be stronger than i am previously.

haha...my sis was telling us tat her hp's spoilt. it muz be the aftermath of trying 2 decide if she wans 2 buy the same phone as mine since yday, so in her illusion, her hp's spoilt. turns out itz juz a case of no batt...haiz, my sis is juz capable of gaffes like this.

12 days 2 the break! & i was thinking i cld actually bring it fwd! cun wait...altho i heard hk's vy hot now...fat's already vy excited (only left she hvn really started packing yet altho she kept saying she shd...).

juliet has submitted her resignation last wk & i dunno if she's gg thru tat 'nobody-cares' feeling. itz dramatic. how did the ex-workplace be like wat it is now? still remember how we were like a family in the past...altho juliet & i can be as diverse as we r yet she can actually influence me & my working style & attitude now is partly attributed 2 her. much as i seem (feel) myself closer wif doris & kelly, therez this unexplainable therapy wif her when we wk tog. itz juz strange how everyone is gg everywhere now...it always seem like yesterday tat we shared our laughter, grudges against the bosses & plotted our nex meal frm the bosses. itz an unbelievable feeling. how nice if we were all still tog...hated 2 hear how unhappy everyone is...we shd really consider setting up the co tog. i find it amazing at times, we came frm different ages groups yet they r 1 bunch whom i feel really close 2 even tho we can dun meet up 4 sometime. we will feel like meeting up & updating each other abt life lately. i've always tot will it continue now tat everyone's moving on? there r some things tat might be inevitable but i had great memories. mac anyone soon? hee.

went JB wif thy BF's mom & bro on sat...new experience...& wif their help i din spend at all except at watsons & a pack of cuttlefish 4 dad. it was mother's day celebration the day was spoilt tho wif the incessant Q at the customs, not 2 mention the thk-u-vy-much non-existent aircon & a little tummyache at the end of the day. i had my butter crayfish...YAY!! i wonder if this trip did add pts...sometimes i wonder how his parents tot of me...like is their son gg 2 be in gd hands altho everyone (my family) wld tin itz the other way round. my parents seem okay wif him but then again they r simple folks (so it doesn't mean u r vy gd, hav 2 be more hardworking...haha...buy more things 4 me!)
ppl seem 2 hav this image of me not being 2 take care of myself, frail, spendthrift & spoilt so on. am i like wat they tin? so i tot sometimes ppl dun really understand me vy well also...sometimes i'm really not like wat u might tin of me. i'm blabbering again...i shd rest.

off-peak loh...

2007-05-02T20:12:00.000+08:00

YAY...itz supposed 2 be the 1st day of official off-peak tdy!! altho i'm still on a job but it juz feels so gd...even tho therez an email circulated asking us 2 submit our timesheet on time 4 appraisal. i pondered 4 a while & heck care again, bcoz one, i've submitted & secondly i dun tin i'll hav anything gd 2 come out of it, so juz dun care lah, juz give me back my $$$.

i'm supposed 2 be quite sick tdy. i woke up wif a sore throat aft the durian yday. thy BF's family love durian, & the 1st time i noe dogs like durian too & they can even be selective over it. later in the aft, i got feverish. i envision myself seeing the doc tmr...NO!! i'll survive coz i'm watching Spiderman 3 tmr! YAY!! i juz had curry & quite a bit so too...hmm, not gd 4 myself huh...getting naUSEOUS again...haiz. tin i'll take a rest frm the com...

26 more days 2 my break!! cun wait...

found!!

2007-04-12T01:29:00.000+08:00

after some relentless searching, i'm pleased 2 announce i found my prev payslips & i've e-filed! 1 lesser thing off my mind...Yay!!

itz almost 2am...itz gg 2 be another hard day & i had diarrhoea & gum-ache...so i shd dry my hair & hop onto bed...i dun care...i'll reach ard 10 later...sleep is more impt =P

i shd go 2 a place like this...

the sky is blue w/o any clouds...i can drive 4 40 mins & find a Calbee factory wif interesting favours. OOPs...hahahahhahahahah

btw, i took this pic...quite pro huh...heehee. maybe itz the place...no matter how u shoot, it will be like this =-)

wherez the payslips???!!!

2007-04-12T00:35:00.000+08:00

where hav all my prev payslips gone? damn it!! i wanted 2 e-file tonite!! it isn't at where i tot it has always been at...damn it!! itz my own procrastination again...shit. now i hav 2 wait 4 the info again...damn...where can it be? i had the worst tots...it might be thrown away? or stacked in 1 of the boxes? but y r they even there in the 1st place? this is really shity. like the job i'm on now...the documents r everywhere & i felt so afraid of the filing room now...but they hav quite a nice pantry...reminds me of time at HF but i tin we were better then...we had so much more snacks & variety of drinks. & i saw my testimonial juz now...hmm, much as i miss the atmosphere there, i'm glad i've moved on bcoz maybe it wun get me anywhere.

i miss gg home on time. i miss being at home at the rite time. i miss sleeping at the rite time. i miss mommy's food. i miss my freedom of planning 4 anything i like. i miss hvg time 4 anything i like...when can things get back 2 normal?

news news

2007-03-16T01:09:00.001+08:00

johnny the 'kpo'...hahaha...told me something shocking tdy...tat darling wans 2 chg bf again! big news...we'll all be shocked bcoz we still trying 2 ascertain whoz her bf in the 1st place...hahaha. messy woman. anyway, saw an email from her co saying they reci my appln. i'm a bit worried tat if they call 4 an interview & offers me the job, shd i accept? shipping lines & banks offer the best prospects & $$$...confused confused!! i dun wan stay in shipping all my life...ahhh. juz now i had a tot, 2 find SY & ask him 2 be my referee, maybe the banks might recognise him (as if) & i will stand a better chance...but i got a bit apprehensive thinking of wat happened b4. i admit i still get a bit sore & upset over the incident. it was like a total rejection altho there might be other reasons which i might nvr noe. i still like 2 believe he's a nice guy altho he's not predictable, he has a presence in my beautiful memories afterall (wif the ladies, bcoz we r too old 4 gals...haha). hope he's happy in aus...& dun get eaten by the sharks =P

i'm tired altho i'm learning...but doing too much is tiring...i got a taste of AIC, understood y they cun tahan...itz really a lot of shit. glad this job's ending but nex shit job's starting...i'm getting a knack checking the staff track vy often...i'm vy scared AIC will chg 2 some u-noe-whos. scary place...arrows shooting everywhere...i felt like hiding. i tin everytime someone at least 2 levels above me wan approach, i'll jump & wan scream.

i hope i'm meeting the acca gang 4 lunch later...i dun hav much time 4 frens lately...i hardly hav time 2 meet them. i got 3 bday prez outstanding (u noe who u r...haha). i nid 2 organise a family trip 2 HK 4 may. i'm trying 2 get FAT 2 be involved & thy BF, if he's gg...tatz the best. i'm trying 2 send resumes & increase chances of landing a new job soon. & sadly, i hav 2 do my job now. the thing working against me is time. i'm trying 2 handle all at the same time & itz really challenging at times. i hardly tok 2 my parents this wk. i wasn't home a day 4 dinner. i din spend more than 2 hrs everyday wif thy BF this wk which is rare...haha...so sticky...like superglue. as i'm typing, i realised i miss the gals, when was the last time we sat down 2 tok, laugh & made fun of each other? the same gals who were wif me thru highs & lows (sounds a bit mushy)...i'm trying 2 divert attention 4 not buying their bday prez yet...keke.

i'm quite excited abt the HK trip, abt gg abroad, abt hvg a break. it was a place wif rather nice memories aft all. my 1st time flying alone, staying in hotels alone, business travel, travelling wif the boss (tho he's in C class & me Y class), interacting wif overseas collz, enjoying the perks of being a guest, wanton mee, the peak wif no view (:x) yada yada yada.

i shd sleep tho. this is no gd 4 later since i reckon i'll be rushing ard a bit later. i wan my shopping, darling (the real one)! =P

bad cramp day...

2007-03-01T12:01:00.000+08:00

oh my, itz a cold cold day & i'm on mc AGAIn...it has sort of became a once-in-a-mth ritual...i cun help it, i am really sick. i'm hvg the worst menstrual cramps of my life, so much so i tin i really wan 2 juz faint & die esp yday (eliz, i understand y take out the womb) & i had no choice but 2 resort 2 med bcoz i cun sustain anymore. itz still on tdy despite it being the 3rd day. i nid 2 exercise, i tot it was better when i did...i cun remember the last time i exercised, now tat is bad, esp now my lifestyle is so stressful. sometimes i tot, is it really tat stressful (some ppl seems okay but there r ppl who r really exhausted like me) or is it me? itz both bah. darling sent a seemingly-nice job appln 2 me...but i tot i wan try out 4 a bank 1st, it was y i got myself in this shit 1st. sometimes i was thinking: hvn i tot i dun like audit all along & y did i decide i will try it? the power of desparation is scary at times but i comfort myself all the time tat it was a move i had 2 take juz tat aft i took the move, things actually became easier 2 get 2 my desired destination...haiz. life's challenges 4 me...i will tin of happier stuffs. BUT i'm sad tat half of my mc day's gone...really sad coz i still hav 2 wk tmr...luckily itz fri & meeting S.U.L. later...btw, heard AIC 4 job where S.U.L grouped's leaving...somewhere i dun feel much...he's a nice guy but maybe he shd go coz itz too stressful. i got 2 update my CV but i tot my jobs aren't something 2 boast abt in tat...something i hated too. watz it wif the allocation tat jobs r so mismatched & u look at wat u've done so far...juz shit & nothing much...haiz. i got 2 live wif it, i learnt tat i dun ctrl anything & i shdn't care tat much.

thy BF has interviews tdy & tmr wif the same organisation...i hope he's successful yet i'm not sure if they r wat he wans. hope he's successful so tat prob ppl wun tin he's slacking at home & he gets stressed over it, i noe tat feeling but itz impt not 2 end up like his gf, got into somewhere she doesn't fit in & agonised herself & everyone ard her, esp him...haiz. i'm thinking, i wan 2 eat! crabs, buffets, dim sum, french toast frm kim gary, crystal jade porridge, bbq seafood, dou jiang you tiao, roasted stuffs, tomyam steamboat & food frm aus like spinach pizza (this one frm UQ is really nice), oportos (itz less sinful than kfc), tuna pasta (vy yummy frm melb), red rooster (nice peas...hee), lentil soup (a bit like tau suan but superb nice at apollo bay) & all the fd tat we cooked tog...ah, i wan 2 get away frm here. i shd watch some south park & eric cartman b4 i start nagging again. alrite, i'm sick, i shd be resting. 1 more thing, my com seems 2 cun mk it...the flickering on the lcd's getting worse...i got 2 be more thrifty again (i din get anything at the latest m)phosis sales & tdy's the last day of the sale altho i nid at least a new pair of slippers).

P.S: the above r disoriented tots like the one shiling had 4 her latest post =P

monday bluuueees...

2007-01-16T00:45:00.000+08:00

itz been a month...& i'm still grumbling away (as usual)...DAMN DAMN DAMN!!! haha...i feel better! U. (part of S.U.L.) was updating me abt the sat job market situation...wahahaha. i seriously tin getting out wld be better 4 me, i BUAY TAHAN at times man. i had 2 keep convincing myself this is gd 4 my future while i'm really terribly miserable...no wonder i kept falling sick...haha...rubbish but i hav got something nice out of this like S.U.L. (which stands 4 Stupid Useless Loser). i'm L btw wif the hand gesture somemore...sometimes we r SULA (+ Ann aka Flying Killer who has left us 4 better life...wuwu). nice times they were...altho we were hvg tough moments, tat period was spent thru much laughter too (remember F.K. laughing in tears...haha, S being Stupid as usual & U being Useless...wahaha & of coz, TT!! the team's fave...wat a slacking team...no wonder we can stand each other...haha

time 4 bed...thy BF wun be too happy seeing this entry huh...heehee...itz juz monday blues. i tin i'll hav a fruitless morn tmr...got so much 2 do i dunno where 2 start man...hates it...forgive my incessant nagging & whining, i promise i will try 2 get out of all this soon hopefully...i find myself irritating at times even. well...hmm, 4 the better of myself & others, i shd give it a try...btw, i wan scold FAT & she avoided it by being not back yet, tat messy girl anyhow anyhow put my stuffs...she forgets i'm a dead volcano ready 2 erupt anytime man...duh (myself). i nid 2 sleep lah, i'm getting ridiculous.

koon...

2006-12-10T23:12:00.000+08:00

i nid 2 sleep!

i wan 2 SLEEP!! but my hair is still wet...

i'm a groggy, grumpy fellow these days. itz not even PMS lor...it muz be the sleep. When can everyday be a non-working day? i'm only looking fwd 2 weekends nowadays & then grumbling abt the end of it starting sat nite, then sun morn...thy BF can vouch 2 it...every wk w/o fail, his silly gf will grumble...haha

went 4 a midnite casino royale last wk...itz not exactly the best choice since at times, i cun concentrate bcoz well, itz past bedtime...i'm getting old, i cun keep late nites like this...tsk.

i shan't blabber on like this...mabe some shopping therapy will do me good...hee

almost lost it =D

2006-12-07T23:35:00.000+08:00

i got in!! i tot i've lost this blog bcoz i juz cun recall my gmail a/c when i actually got none...haha.

hvn been blogging 4 vy long lor...busy wif wk...a job i dun like...i can cfm it more & more by the day & i'm not attempting 2 hide it when ppl ask. it dipped my life 2 a all-new low. i nvr felt i'm so lousy b4 can. itz tat serious...haha. cun wait 4 jul...btw, we better get our salary reviewed, everyone's getting a bit disgruntled too, maybe not only a bit...dun count on us lor. been hearing ppl gg over 2 aus 2 wk, gg back aus, comes frm aus...i miss the place...thy BF & i hav been comparing some places 2 Southbank but therez seriously no fight...

so i decided 2 post this "2 become 1" wannabe pic...artistic ne. realised i din take much pics of the place despite being there quite a few times...hmm. haiz...i shall suggest a family trip there in 2 yrs' time...we'll go HK & maybe japan 1st.

i wan 2 get an evening bag...4 D&D...yes, i'm gg bcoz i've nvr been 2 one b4 (dun count the one in KL). i manage 2 scramble a dress frm sis, i suppose i'll wear an old pair of heels or the new pair i bought last sat, so i nid a bag. anyway, rumaging thru my stuffs mk me realise i nid more bags (i seriously cun even find a white or beige one...OMG), shoes (blacked covered, black slip-ons & many many other colours), clothes...as thy BF said, itz nvr gg 2 be enough...NEVER!! haha...CHRISTMAS is COMING!! (for someone ~~)

FAT wans an ipod 4 her bday can, so the vy nice me am waiting 4 her reply if she wans an ipod video or normal one (i seriously hope she chooses the cheaper one bcoz thy sister is getting broke...unless i get a pay raise) & i juz told her the prez is 4 2 yrs...haha...i enjoy the look on her face...wahahahaha

FAT bought a kinda weird cake 4 her bro juz now...itz his bday...it has this biscuit bit at the bottom...& the bday boy is too full 2 eat but she doesn't care...she wans eat...wat a stupid girl...haha. itz kelly's bday too & while frantically searching 4 my secondary email juz now, i found out itz another sec sch mate's bday...blimey...is it a gd day? 1 lesser day 2 staying at tat place...itz a gd day =P

blabberings typed out on 02 Nov 06, 0.30am

2006-11-02T00:17:00.000+08:00

i shd be sleeping...but i decided 2 write something b4 i go off...

cheated by kelly...wahahaha...she din tok 2 me 4 more than 10 sentences b4 gg off...i hope she reads this tho she'll be prob too busy. i'm not advising her on gg or staying...dun wan 2 prove extra helpful again...keke.

itz thurs loh...how happy...the wk is ending!!! YAY!!!

i'm thinking whether 2 get the purple bag frm little matchgirl...itz nice & i like the colour ley...hmm, but i juz spent $30 eating at din tai fung...can u imagine? all johnny's fault...wahaha. worst still, in the end i still din get the tix 4 phantom...haiz...i hope we get decent seats. i dun wan 2 risk getting beaten =P

i hav quite a bit of paper cuts all over my fingers...i dinno auditor = labourer at times...the boxes r so damn heavy & i always knew paper is dangerous. i cun c my bruise at my back which i got frm knocking myself against a desk...i felt so miserable then. this job really sucks at times. haha...i manage 2 tok bad abt the job again...wahaha.

juz realised my new shoes gave me blisters =Z

blabberings typed out on 29 Oct 06, 6pm

2006-10-29T17:11:00.000+08:00

sunday is ending soon...i noe nice times fly fast...can tat be said the same of my seemingly-sucky job now? i hav no qualms 2 say i hate it. i hate it bcoz i hate it. no offence to anything or anyone. period.

spent the day watching a bit of tv, cooking pasta & barley water, cleaning up the place...left the washing 4 now. hmm, i'm not training 2 be a housewife...juz fulfilling some filial piety thing. my parents r off 2 their fave holiday destination 4 the weekend, so everyone's helping out a little & since tdy is rather hot (& i'm getting heaty, bit my lips twice =Z), so i decided 2 cook the barley water which i hope is drinkable. had a tiring but enjoyable shopping trip yday, itz a sisters' day out & funny things kept happening. angela & i were off 2 c the doc tog...we delayed the trip so much we reached the clinic at 12.30pm, almost dying of hunger then. we happily gobbled our crystal jade (btw, the spinach bacon thing i ate was vy nice, so was fat's pizza bread) breads, thinking abt the sakae lunch treat from my sis coming up @#$#@$#%&^&, her world's-BEST-local-**** delayed her leaving time & left the 2 of us flabberglasted & badly needing a seat (coffee bean's closed), we ended up at pastamania & fat (always not full enough & wan 2 eat something) tins we shd order a pasta. then the pasta came seemingly-not-very-cooked. up 2 this point, i was feeling so sucky, hvg a bad headache frm the heat & juz felt like gg home. we went 2 seiyu aft tat, aft buying things, i recovered! so miraculous huh...hee. my sis finally arrived & she's hungry, so the 3 of us went 2 sakae (finally) at 4+...& kept staring the conveyor belt, thinking therez not much we wan eat...the worst part is fat getting a headache frm watching the conveyor belt too much...she's ridiculous as ever. shopping continues aft the meal but we seem lacklustre. & sis got hungry again ard 8 2 our surprise (& agony). fat & my mealtimes were vy irregular yday...so we headed to the foodcourt where we spent half an hr thinking wat my sis shd hav...the elderly couple beside muz tin the 3 of us siao...3 persons sharing a bowl of black-rice-porridge cnt decide on main course. itz sure tough deciding 4 3 persons bcoz therez nothing we all wan 2 hav & we nearly switched destinations. when we happily settled on korean ginseng chicken, it was sold out. so aft another 'long' round of discussion, my sis bought some chinese gyozas & some hot & spicy soup which wasn't nice -_"'. when we finally reached the busstop 2 head 4 home, we saw a stall of wanton mee which looks vy nice...^&&*&($$$##@ tat concludes the day but i love spending it wif my sisters =D

watched the departed on thurs...understood y andy lau had some comments abt the amt of vulgarity in the show. it gets irritating at a point i felt like giving up the show. i cun really stand vulgar language, so i tin the original was better. andy lau is better. i felt ridiculous abt the way his character died in departed. itz like they dun hav enough time 4 tat & juz hav him die anyway.

argh, i can feel the ulcers coming up. sian...i dun wan 2 miss my food nex wk...but i better watch out in order not 2 get a sore throat. it seems like a busy wk & 1 i'll happily pass thru. thy bf is coming back nex sat. i noe everyone tins i shd be vy happy but i cun help getting emotional at times coz it wasn't easy...esp thinking abt wat the past mths hav been like. things i hav been thinking abt 4 mths r finally gg 2 happen soon bah, juz spending time & doing simple (not silly hopefully) stuffs tog & i can nag 2 him abt all things sucky in person liao...YAY!!! sometimes tho, i do hope i'm the one gg over & we r gg 2 live over there bcoz i'm juz so tired of the place (tatz how a sucky job hais u) but of coz, we hav nothing 2 be there yet & my glutton of a bf cun wait 2 be back 2 eat...his savoury glands r vy active now. i can understand. i miss the variety of food here even tho i'm only there 4 2 wks+.

a discoherent heap of stuffs written again. i juz wan 2 be able 2 recollect these tots in some time 2 come coz i noe i'll forget. i nid memory pills at times. btw, anyone nids a webcam? mine has served its purpose 4 the last time juz now...YAY!! =P

b4 i wash up...keke

2006-09-29T20:59:00.000+08:00

i'm blogging b4 i go wash up...*to someone in particular =P

lovely...tdy is fri!!! i'm quite a fiery person tdy...due 2 the cramp...& hormonal thing...*i wan chocolates!!!* i'm thinking of shopping in this state! i wan some belts, earrings, clothes & shoes!!! i wan a haircut! shd i go 4 shoulder length? i noe i'll regret when i c all the flyaways...but sometimes i'm so tired of seeing the same me in the mirror everyday. i feel so sian of dressing up...muz be the job =P

i keep thinking my suitability on the job...itz juz not vy me...yet this is wat i kept hawking 4...haiz...so my odeon darling was vy shocked when i asked her 2 keep a lookout of jobs 4 me...haha...i like teasing her...itz vy funny...wahaha.

i'm trying 2 cancel some membership thingy i got in my 1st job...PISSED...they nvr got back...damn it, i shdn't hav procrastinate...SIAN!!

my uncle is hvg a bday dinner tmr...so funny...maybe tatz the 1st time he even had such a celebration in his life, so we muz give face...but fat already fell sick...haiz...haha. sometimes i look at my uncle & tot itz so sad not 2 hav a family by him at his age, so i try 2 be nicer (when he doesn't go out of his way 2 irritate us when he noes we will be!) =)

okay...time 2 wash up :P

random (& messy) tots...=P

2006-09-20T22:16:00.000+08:00

i'm supposed 2 sleep...but i guess i got all the time 2 do it during the technical update tmr...ha. was told itz real boring. my latest job group seems nice...but not everyone will be back 4 the finals tho...had fun chatting & joking ard...will remember the walkthrough joke...ha. i'm in an environment where everyone is quite open abt their non-intentions 2 stay 4 long & tatz something i hav 2 get used 2...was told i'm actually in a vy gossipy environment, so always dun only c things on the surface. lately i hav been thinking wat do i wan out of this job...a smoother path 2 the nex job? meet more ppl? somehow i feel i'm still out of the picture looking at things inside...no, i'm not imagining tat i'm not in the situation but somehow due 2 past experience, i ahh, dunno how 2 express it in words...am able 2 look at certain situations & laugh it off? i'll hav frens in the co but perhaps not close...hmm, do i mind tat? i dunno...altho it seems gd 2 be involved but sometimes i'm glad i dun hav tat many contacts, i'm not energetic (& rich) 4 so many entertainments. i sounded kuku when i told ppl i love gg home aft wk...an ex-jobs cultivation. nowhere is more comfortable than home bah...i love being at home, love my family, love honey, love my bed, love the comfort & sense of belonging...i'm blabbering...haha

i got my cds, some miscellaneous & a vy ugly necklace frm my uncle, they look those u chant wif...wonder how he got himself 2 buy tat & all the way frm taiwan somemore...waste money! i spent 5 days of isolation (not much actually) when they were. finally went 4 langyi's dad's claypot rice...it was nice! itz always fun hanging out wif the gals...altho i'm kinda paiseh 2 c them still making the effort 2 accompany despite being vy tired...thks thks! *bows...we hav many yrs of friendship, so NO no signboard lah...haha.

jay singing in bossa nova...altho critics tin itz kinda weird but i tin itz nice...thinking wat he'll do in the mtv & concert...some tango? david's is well, vy david but still nice. 2 someone (pirate) in particular, i hvn (& dunno if i will) upload the album into my com.

my sis juz told me how much i still owe her...OMG...it means curbing my spending 4 another 2 mths...huh...when can i start saving? i keep thinking i nid shoes lately...stop it!!! it gets so solemn thinking of my financial status & how i hav save 4 this & tat so i hope i'll be rather busy wif wk so tat i dun get 2 spend much. thinking back...i used most of my finance 2 get myself 2 vy enjoyable & memorable trips in aus this yr, so itz worthed it & someone shd start saving 4 our HK, Japan & NZ trips in future...haha...& i hvn mentioned taiwan,bangkok, greece, ITALY, tasmania & more 2 come...ha.

speaking abt bangkok...they r experiencing a military coup. nobody noes watz gg 2 happen frm there but i juz hope no bloodshed...itz depressing seeing such news everytime. i hvn been 2 thailand b4 & i do hope 2 go 2 1 tat i've heard fondly of =)

finally we got the chalet 4 dec...thks 2 yinghui...it has sort of become a yearly thing huh...how wld things be in 3, 5 or 10 yrs' time? i noe it wun remain the same...i realised i do like reminisicing the past. i cun resist changes but some things r best left where & how they r isn't it? the world wun slow down 4 anything but itz moving so fast tat prob most of us can hardly catch it?

alrite...bedtime...YAY...2 more days 2 weekends!!!!!! =D

*is there anything u wan 2 tell me 4 tdy?* =P

*is there anything i wan 2 tell u 4 tdy?* erm, all these silly stuffs? =b

i wan to be AWAY!!!

2006-09-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

there were times i'm grateful of the position i'm in & there were times i simply hated the position i'm in. i wish i hav a more carefree life but i cun stay unemployed. i wish i'm happier yet i'm let down by my pressure & emotions again & again. where has my inner peace gone? i keep worrying & stressing myself up...this is not wat itz supposed 2 be...wat went wrong?

telling myself: itz wk, juz wk! all in the normal course of wk! stop brooding over it will u?!

am i depressed? i tin i am. dun ask me y i got it, i wished i knew.

dun hav 2 worry...

2006-09-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

got in finally...some pros wif logging in juz now...

itz sep liao!!! finally...i managed 2 stay 4 a mth on the job! i tin i'm beginning 2 empathise wif shiling's job sense more & more (no...i'm not fighting wif her 2 be star***'s most LOYAL employee...haha). i dun really like the enviroment...itz like a sch...scary...an extension of a certain tertiary institution. i was so not used 2 it, then i found out i lack audit sense in my brains...i'm hvg the newcomer's syndrome...confused by all the doc & how they link...maybe i do nid some homework. i'm stressing myself up again, the work perfectionist in me...i guess i really nid 2 relax but peak period is up soon & anyway, my schedule is rather packed, i'll immense myself in wk bah & try not tin so much...then there will be no more insonmia, loss of appetite...siao ley me, wk until like tat & i dun earn much 4 all this...ha

i tin i had insonmia last nite bcoz i was thinking abt life & death last nite...i was vy surprised 2 read abt crocodile hunter, steve irwin's death...my last vivid memory of him was seeing him on tv telling us not 2 bring certain items into aus while clearing customs. i remember getting quite nervy seeing tat coz i was trying 2 bring in a lotus root (under eliz's advice) which was not allowed...wat a irony & final twist 2 his life. i juz simply felt vy sad upon reading the news...the meaning here once again is u cun take things 4 granted...wat or who might be here tdy might be not the nex day...so so sad yet itz an unavoidable aspect of life. i nvr like thinking how wld i feel if ppl dearest 2 me moved out of my life 1 day, i get totally upset & terrified wif the slightest tot...i remember crying myself 2 sleep when i tot of how ppl ard me wld leave me 1 day. i do quite dread being alone when my family goes away 4 their holidays. itz so much worse than 'if u got a choice 2 be alone & u chose it'...therez like no channel 2 drive away the loneliness...maybe bcoz i do feel rather lonely at wk now...yes, i hav ppl ard me but itz juz so so diff. miss hvg juliet, doris & kelly 2 tok 2 & we can tok abt anything, dun hav 2 withhold anything bcoz we understand each other. sometimes, i asked myself, y am i struggling 2 adapt? is it really tat bad or i juz simply dun wan 2 adapt? y do i constantly affect myself wif all these tots when i hav told myself 2 let go, be myself, be happy? but deep deep inside, i noe i'm unhappy...i broke down into tears vy often, i dunno when's the last time i've laughed really happily & i tin i'm at the unhappiest period of my life so far...yet sometimes i find it hard communicating 2 ppl on my feelings. they will prob tell me itz like this or look at me like some weirdo, thinking i'm a spoilt brat who cun stand the slightest stuffs. sometimes i tin perhaps my communication is not gd, ppl mistook my points & i do get tired of toking aft a while. is changing 2 adapt the only way 4 survival? wat happens 2 happiness? dun i nid 2 be happy, if not y do i survive at all? 2 mk ppl share my unhappiness? argh...i tin i'm getting carried away wif all these, btw, ppl at my workplace r quite nice so far but...therez always a but. i miss my buddies. maybe it wld be better if therez msn during wk, at least i dun feel so disconnected.

oh no, got 2 sleep liao...itz gonna be a long day tmr...gg 4 forbidden city, actually glad i'm meeting the gals...i nid sanity BUT i dun tin they will provide me wif tat...haha.

2 mths 2 go...maybe tatz when my sanity will come back...=P

getting busy soon...

2006-08-26T13:10:00.000+08:00

hmm, my wk schedule is starting 2 c some additions...i'm gg 2 banks...as i wld hav liked altho i dun mind some variety...juz dun put me mainly in insurance. itz kinda scary when a collz starts showing me my schedule when i came back frm lunch bcoz it was still empty when i chk my staff trak in the morn...starting 2 anticipate how it'll be like...hope i meet a nice senior like sherly. she said i'm the nicest person she met in the co so far...blimey...but itz a compliment anyway...ha & i'll consider visiting jakarta since i'll hav a guide...haha . 1 gd thing i got being in this co is tat i get 2 mix wif ppl of diff nationalities & races...i felt multi-national & itz nice 2 noe multi-cultures =) btw, therez a nice fish soup stall at amoy fd centre...long Q tho but then, there seems like Qs everywhere there. lunch is normally a sweaty affair which urs truly definitely hates, esp when the weather is vy hot now.

met pauline last nite...we went 4 the crystal jade porridge as usual...wondered if she noticed it...we went 4 tat almost everytime we met. enjoyed the chat as usual...we r both talkative...haha...reminds me of poly days...the group is vy scattered now. i hav mainly acquaintances frm tat now.

i'm craving 4 fd now!!! i keep feeling i nid fd...haha...yet i dunno wat i wan 2 eat...a plate of fried vege wld be nice =P

so my family is gg 2 taiwan in 2 wks' time...i hav nvr sort been alone in the hse 4 so many days b4...really gg 2 feel weird bah...but i'll be on a job 4 the 1st few days of their trip, so i guess prob i wun feel tat much lonely & i'll be seeing the gals during the weekend...always nice seeing them...can tok abt anything under the sun...wif no restrictions too...oh ya, shiling, ur tarot cards...haha =D

T-I-R-E-D E-Y-E-S

2006-08-17T20:03:00.000+08:00

itz sure is damn tiring 2 be staring at computer screens 4 8 hrs a day & i already did tat 4 2 days...i can feel my eyeballs getting all starry & i'm now quite afraid of computer screens. i dunno y i'm blogging here then...another day & it will be the weekends!!! YAY!!

true love prevails all

2006-08-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

my sis was telling us how her poly fren has broken off wif her bf of 9 yrs due 2 religious differences, she had refused 2 convert 2 his religion. tat is so sad...while it remains 2 be seen if they will still be together in the end. so itz not true love will prevail all...this world can be vy realistic aft all...ppl fell out wif each other due 2 $$$ & the smallest thing u can tin of.

so thy bf might be coming back in nov instead. hmm, i'm actually vy happy tat the days r shortened again. being apart is vy tough aft all, i hav 2 admit but true love prevails all =)

everything is fine...

2006-08-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

was at friendster juz now trying 2 add langyi & decided 2 look thru other ppl's profiles...got reminded of the past & realised how time flew & things changed...scary at times. sometimes i tin of my age & find the rate of growth horrible. i went 2 new job 2 find most new-joiners younger than me. hmm, there were once when i was the youngest among all but slowly slowly i'm not anymore...AHHHHHHH...i wan my youth!!! tat also meant my energy, drive & heck-care attitude. i hav became a slacker, lost some drive & worst, became a worrier. i tin i worry a lot, tin a lot & sometimes i hate myself 4 tat. it wasn't like this in the past...sighz...

david tao's releasing his album tmr...& i only knew when i read i-weekly...how un-updated...i tin i'm so detached frm current affairs nowadays, so in my own world.

heard frm FAT tat 恶作剧之吻 is gg 2 be shown on channel 56 soon...how nice...another idol drama 2 go aft aft 恶魔在身边, a vy nice & sweet show. oh, shiling is gonna meet he jun xiang in her job...hope she wun drool too much...haha & dun forget our pic!!

itz fri tmr!!! working is so tiring...ha...i wan 2 travel! i wan 2 go back 2 australia!! i wan 2 travel ard the world!!! i wan a clean clean break frm everything...sometimes i tot it wld be nice if i can go somewhere where absolutely no one noes me & i dun hav 2 get 2 noe them. c...i wan 2 live in my own world...i sure itz not 自闭症...dunno y i dun like crowds nowadays...i juz wan 2 be at somewhere quiet, hvg some peace of the mind. i muz be tired. i tin too much. everything is still fine. meeting the acca gang later...hope i wun fall sick...ha.

oh ya, david david...but the 1st single sounds a bit weird altho he's vy gd as usual...btw, his new hairstyle a bit weird =P

Harbourtown!!

2006-07-27T08:18:00.000+08:00

ooh, Harbourtown 4 today!! dunno itz a coincidence or wat...i visited the same place on my last thurs here 4 last trip too...blimey...anyway, i'm gg there 4 a walk (hope & tin so...) BUT hope 2 get some cheap officewear...a CHEAP blazer suit wld be vy vy nice man...keke.

currently on a show called 'my name is earl' which is recommended by eliz to thy BF aka her stranger. 4 some strange (or silly) reasons, thy BF likes calling it 'a man called earl'...i guess he's too infatuated wif the story 'a man called Horse'...too many yrs of slavery 2 daph maybe...haha or Mr Carry's sleep-inducing literature class. anyway, tat show is nice...kinda different...hmm, perhaps the 1st english serial thing i tin i will be watching all episodes. itz basically abt this guy called earl gg wif a list 2 start making up 4 all the bad things he tin he did...hmm, how long wld my list be if i hav 1? maybe i shd ask angela abt it...i'm sure she will come up wif many of mine...oops =P

tdy i'm quite inspired BUT i hav 2 go bath now...thy BF will be back in another half an hr or so...there will be no Harbourtown if i continue nua-ing...

3 days b4 gg back sg...haiz.

time FReeZe....

2006-07-24T10:09:00.000+08:00

i'm sure everyone hav moments when they wished time can be stopped in this spectrum. juz here, neither less nor more, juz here...if time stops at this moment, i will be in brisbane in 1 of my many lazy mornings...sometimes i'm surprised at how much i wan 2 stay here & not go back 2 s'pore (at least 4 a while). i feel vy relaxed here & it helps a lot tat itz winter now (cold tho...brrr...) while i hav 2 go back 2 face a new job & the HEAT...sian sian sian!! a week has passed w/o much notice...will someone give me the power 2 freeze time?

itz officially 6 mths!!

okay...time 2 tidy the room...hee =P

blabberin's,,,

2006-07-16T17:34:00.000+08:00

i'm hvg a break...flying off tmr...Wooooh...how nice!!! sometimes i tot itz incredible tat this is the 3rd time i'm gg back (mum sure hopes therez no 4th time...wahaha). itz winter there! nvr experienced winter all my life...except genting & tat bit of wintry feeling in HK. I wan my red rooster, pancakes, pancakes, coles, woolsworth...& many more...whahahaahah. i already told someone tat many many times...hahaha.

listening to The Calling's Wherever You Go...i dun remember the full lyrics but listening 2 the chorus brought out a bit of the emotional me (again)...itz almost 6 mths...yet it always seems like itz still 6 mths ago sometimes.

missing eliz...

2006-06-28T19:50:00.000+08:00

hmm, eliz muz be so busy in melb...juz wan 2 tell her TAT woman shifted out liao...but still @@#$$%$^$. sometimes it nvr pays 2 be kind & considerate, ppl juz take advantage of tat. @@##$%#^^ again...haha.

missing eliz (a little...hahaha)...wait till u r back...babe.

^friday^

2006-06-16T12:25:00.000+08:00

so itz supposed 2 be lunchtime now...dunno where 2 lunch...u c how gd life is...u actually dunno wat 2 eat, where 2 eat while some ppl simply hav nothing 2 eat. i shall take my morn breakfast muffin 1st then...

i finally feel tired aft almost a wk of staying late...broke the record last nite: leaving the office at 12am...while i've stayed overnite 4 prev job b4, if i remembered correctly, i nvr stayed 4 consecutive this long 4 overtime. testing my mettle...coz nex job will be worse. spent most of my $$$ on cabfares...nvr taken so much cab all my life. hvg puffy eyes tho...dunno y...i juz woke up in the morn wif them & my concealer is finally proving itz worth again...trying hard 2 cover the eye problems...haha.

so the world cup has started & i hvn been able 2 catch my fave italy (actually 2 be more precise, it shd be Mr Filippo Inzaghi of the Italian team...wahaha) in action. i agree wif eliz tat Starhub (i hope a certain employee is reading this) shd dedicate a channel 2 filming the bench...wahaha. i watched some matches hoping in vain tat they will shoot the bench. of coz they did...giving us the coach...oh pls...give the other benchwarmers some credit can? give them some screentime...in this case, give Inzaghi more screentime i mean...wahaha. my fave player got into his team despite only coming back frm injury a while ago, tat prob deserve a mention somewhere? i better stop or in this semi-unconscious state of mind, i'm sure i can come up wif something sillier of ways 2 c Inzaghi. lately, i was telling my sisters tat Inzaghi prob cun wait 4 me 2 save up enough 2 go watch him...quite sad actually...it wld be some dream 2 c him in real person, in a way, we r growing old tog...oops...ha. the most ideal final shd involve italy & vy vy ideally, inzaghi 2 score the winner! hahaha...Fat can tell u i say this vy often...bcoz when this happens, inzaghi will hog the limelights & can c a lot of him everywhere! yay...haha

flying off 2 aus again nex mth...hope the travel agent got everything rite...this lady is quite funny but nice...hee. i had 2 explain watz an underscore 2 her & i still dun get my email...wahaha. itz winter season over there now...woh, 1st time experiencing winter...so exciting...keke.

itz fri...YAY!!! another week has passed! jun is turning out 2 be passing so fast, perhaps bcoz of the rain...itz so weird 2 c grey skies most of the time in this mth...mks u feel like u r already at the end of the yr =)

FRI FRI FRI...yay!

2006-06-01T22:56:00.000+08:00

itz fri tmr...YAY!!!

when u r working, u remember when all the public holidays r & look fwd 2 weekends all the time...haha.

i was trying 2 look 4 an old pair of specs...cldn't find it & as usual, i noe itz somewhere in my hse, juz dunno where...hee. letting Fat c my specs...u c...she's a budding optometrist so we r all vy gd practice material 4 her but my mum is proving vy tough 4 her bcoz she's giving ans tat well, u really wunno how 2 diagnose her...wahaha.

met wif 2 absurd matters at wk these 2 days. i cun help but feel relieved tat i'm leaving the place soon. i would like 2 clarify tat being quiet at wk doesn't mean i'm always tat quiet, not sociable & worst of all, hav no frens! OMG!!! i juz dun wan 2 socialise wif certain ppl when i dun c the need 2. ya, i noe these kinda ppl might be everywhere & even in new workplace but ppl here r so extreme i juz wan 2 stay away frm them. therez 1 thing tho, i shd brush up on my communication skills...will be taking this challenge 4 new job & looking fwd 2 it.

oh, i wish ppl wun say i'm rich when i speak abt plans of visiting aus again. u dun hav 2 empathise wif me & i'm not expecting everyone 2 understand but i'm not gg over bcoz i hav excess $$$ which i dunno where 2 spend on.

i'm interested in the new samsung E870...interested (only) bcoz i hav no budget 4 it...wahaha. actually the real thing doesn't look as nice or sleek as on the brochure...keke.

GSS is on & i'm proud 2 say i hav bought almost nothing yet...but soon (i feel itz soon) i'll be contributing 2 the economy...i wan a black working bag, covered shoes, suits, shirts, in general formal wear...when will there always be enough $$$ 4 all these?

oh ya, i donated blood 4 the 1st time last sun. the feeling of giving is gd. i'll be doing it again. how cld ppl not wan be kind & nice? doesn't doing a gd deed mks u so much happier than always thinking of ways 2 triumph over ur rivals? maybe itz bcoz we r human aft all.

NEW...

2006-05-27T10:10:00.000+08:00

oh, gd morn! juz went 2 chk on my financial status & wat a sigh i had 2 give...seems tat i can only start saving frm jul...HAI HAI HAI! itz so so sad 2 c ur saving dwindling 2 the lowest point & realise my aim this yr wun be reached =(

other than the above which is actually a serious pro in my mind...i FINALLY got into where i wan 2 be & FINALLY i'm getting started on wat i've planned 4 & FINALLY leaving a place where the human factors r threatening 2 jeopardise serious wk...where ppl r rewarded 4 wat they hav not done...where some of the ridiculous stuffs unfold b4 ur eyes or ears...but itz a vy gd lesson on office politics...a real eye-opener. i muz say itz a relief when i got the call of offer...now anticipating the new job challenges & wat i noe my stint there will bring. itz gd 2 be 2 be anticipating a new phrase in life. u get more optimistic & suddenly everything seems so so bright & u hav an incredible amt of drive 2 achieve. gd gd...this is indeed gd.
while there were countless disappointments, the ending is still vy sweet...juz tat it wasn't easy & i'll treasure it more. i've learnt a lot of stuffs during this period & the support i've reci is so sweet & touching despite my constant whines & groans (i really whine a lot can...haha). the support frm the odeon gang is esp dear 2 the heart. frm them, i noe there can be genuinity among frens at wk, unlike the OP i heard abt in & hav 2 face in wk everyday now, i can sense the genuine happiness, wishes & support which re-affirms the fact tat frens r not by quantity but quality. i dun nid much frens juz a few who can share ups & downs will do. glad 2 say frens (& i dun mean acquaintances) ard me hav been patient in listening 2 my grouses...ha. oh, FAT & Da JIE too...sharing part of my 'miserable sufferings'...they suffer more bah...wahaha. finally, thy BF who suffered the worst, every tiny bit of complaints goes 2 him. so gd lah, itz over...4 now...until the new job starts...wahaha.

meeting pauline 2 SHOP later...i shd keep a hold on myself...juz get the shoes i wan & tatz enough. maybe suits since itz GSS & things r on sale...ARGH...u c, this is how it goes & the list juz grows...

7 mths 2 go...a lot of things 2 anticipate. when i tot i wun be so much affected again, there will always be stuffs 2 remind me tat i am...i noe y is tat so.

过敏

2006-05-04T20:14:00.000+08:00

你消失的一百天
我没了笑脸怕别人看见
我敏感的神经线
一点一点没知觉

泛红双眼不成眠
它跟着我一整夜
麻痹的脸特效药也无解
才发现我正搁浅在爱情过敏的季节
OH过敏源是对你的思念

我想我才了解
我正停格在爱情过敏的季节
季节没改变
是想念没断线

泛红双眼不成眠
它跟着我一整夜
麻痹的脸特效药也无解
才发现我正搁浅在爱情过敏的季节
OH过敏源是对你的思念

我想我才了解
我正停格在爱情过敏的季节
季节没改变是想念没断线

我想我才发现
感情尘蹒已布满了我的世界
OH过敏源是为你流的泪

我想我才了解
就算用尽了力气也未必如愿
季节没改变
是眼泪弄湿脸

我想我才了解
我正停格在爱情过敏的季节
季节没改变是想念没断线
季节一直变
但我的心没有变

你消失的一百天
我没了笑脸没知觉

still at wk...tin i'm falling sick soon...normally my throat will give way 1st. my poor body, tin i've been giving it too much pressure. i shd take better care of myself =P

+++

2006-04-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

here i am...finally at home aft a long day...

went 4 an interview at ex-co...went back 2 a familiar yet unfamiliar environment & it might be an environment i hav 2 face everyday soon. & the SAME old ppl it seems...cun exactly describe the feeling...but i agree wif wat johnny said, i shd concentrate on earning some keep. when i'm lost on my career choices now, it is made worse when ppl attempt 2 give me advices...well, i do appreciate the fact tat they tried 2 give some opinions but they r not me & they dunno wat is gg thru me now, dunno how i'm feeling now, dunno wat is it i really really wan, so it gets tiring explaining y am i taking the path i am taking & the reaction u got when u told y am i doing all these. i'm really appreciative abt the concern & there might come a day i regret not taking the path i shd but every cloud has its silver lining & u nvr noe wat life has in store 4 u. most imptly, i understand tat itz prob hard 4 ppl 2 understand wat i'm gg thru when they hvn been thru it.

enough of heavy stuffs...sharing some pics taken in melb...

some demonstration thing outside the melb library...nvr seen tat b4 u c...suagu so take pic lor...anyway not i take...ha

the touristy Queen Victoria market...vy much like our pasar malams...a so-so place in my opinion. the wet market was nice tho...but i love the supermarkets in aus i guess...shd hav taken pics of coles & woolsworth...wahaha

the lovely clouds taken on board the flight 2 melb...we flew on jetstar btw & the cabin crew were showing the life-saving instructions live...eye-opener 4 the vy suagu me again...keke

weird...cun upload the other pics...another day liao...

got the academic dress 4 this sat's graduation...the hat looks so kuku & as usual, bcoz i hav a big head, so i nid a bigger one but the worst shock was when Fat said i shd take a bigger one...OMG! we were discussing tat we r not excited abt the ceremony at all. maybe the excitement will come on the day itself bah. went 2 thai express 4 dinner juz now, it was not bad...i tin thai desserts r so yummy albeit a bit too sweet...it will suit thy BF tho...Giant Coconut has a sweet tooth, unfortunately his gf is gd at cooking bland fd, so he better enjoys all tat he can now...haha. hmm, but at least i cook, altho nid more improvements...hee.

i shd Zzz soon...or i might end up sleeping at wk tmr...btw, wld u ever stay at a job 4 a LONG LONG time even tho u tin ur collz sucks? sometimes, ppl really amazed me...amazing.

P.I.M.P.L.E.S.

2006-04-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

wif the aftermath of visiting a fabulous place & a wonderful trip came OMG...PIMPLES!!! tin the face is trying 2 adjust back 2 the surroundings & climate, so quite a few has popped up...SAD!!! hopefully itz only 4 the moment now...=S

aft 3rd day of wk, i still seem 2 hav no feelings twds new job. bad...haha. hopefully my ideal situation will happen. there r no jap shuai ges in the co...discussing it wif kelly this aft reminds me of IN of ex-co & of coz SY. now i appreciate them better...wahaha. well, the MD is not bad-looking but he sure has a fiery temper...he seems 2 wan blow up everyday...wonder when will i c the volcano erupting...heard itz quite scary...oh well. i c a diff working style in new co which is not bad at all...i can learn 2 c which r efficient & which r needless. new co has so many procedures tat i'm trying 2 adjust 2 & oh, so many undercurrents...nobody seems 2 like anybody...& everyone seem 2 hav worked there 4 long or VY long...佩服，佩服。

enough of wk. i nid shoes...i cun find shoes 4 wk. 2 pairs of slip-ons. itz time 2 get 2 back 2 heels. maybe i shd get suits also or a blazer jacket will do. hmm, when is iora hvg their sale?

oh ya, disclaimer, i hope my 'loyal' readers hav noticed tat i weren't the author 2 the last entry. itz not too me rite? i dun openly praise my bf & tin all my frens shd like him (2 pacify my frens) altho he's great, sweet, attentive...blah blah blah (not listing all in case my frens anti this blog but actually, itz mainly 2 pacify him) =P

大小姐日记（2）

2006-04-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

Time: 1850 (Brisbane time)

Time to departure: 5 more hours

心情：好想哭

原因：can't bear to leave wws

The past 18 days

The past 18 days have been wonderful...spent most of my time on the bed...sleeping...and not to mention using computer...stupid wws...always go to school or sleep...no time for me :( BUT...he has been such a wonderful boyfriend to me. To all my female friends...get someone who is at least half as gd as him...and yah...you ppl must be blind not to go after him... :P

What can i say....breakfast in bed...no need to do anything...free driver...someone to ill-treat...in short, everything a woman can ask for...sigh...why do i have to leave so soon...*sob...

That sob reminded me...i've been crying for the past few nights...eyes swollen...if u see me, DO NOT ASK ME WHY!! i'll bite...

Oh well...time to enjoy his company once again...Cya back in spore!!

ps: think i will regret putting in this post (boost his ego) so i might remove or add in a disclaimer later...enjoy it while u can!!

大小姐日记（1）

2006-04-06T07:07:00.000+08:00

itz 9.06am brisbane time now which means itz only 7.06am in sg now, tat tells the pathetic state of msn.

ms 大小姐 aka myself actually noes how 2 use the microwave 2 heat up some donuts 4 breakfast but seeing the state the topping melts...hmm, sighz. wws aka Daddy or Giant Coconut has gone out till the aft, so his pathetic gf has 2 fend 4 herself during these hrs. wonder if i'll be able 2 sleep again later =P

juz came back here frm melb last nite. itz a COLD COLD place...wat a new experience. melb is more cosmopolitan & crowded & so confusing. we spent quite sometime finding our way ard: 2 hrs finding our accomodation, gg round the city countless times 2 find a destination...the street signs r so BIG u prob get ready a bino & it doesn't help tat sometimes we only hav a map which shows the main roads & streets & i still cnt recognise the streets w/o seeing the signs. despite all those minor hiccups, melb seems a great place, a mixture of modern cosmopolitan wif nature. their natural scenaries r breathtaking altho the wow factor dies down aft a while...therez lotsa amazing views starting frm bells beach, great ocean road where u can c the 12 apostles & london bridge. in my opinion, i was more awestruck wif london bridge...i juz tot the structure is majestic but the camera sadly cld only survive 1 pic there. it was mostly raining during our trip on the great ocean road & itz so freezingly cold, luckily i bought tat $3.90 gloves, it was so much used thru-out the melb trip. the nex day, we drove out 2 philip island by ourselves 2 watch the penguin parade. frankly speaking, i tot the walk back aft the parade was so much more interesting than the parade itself. u can c the penguins more upclose, they r so CUTE!!! had 2 resist 2 smuggle one back...haha. it was also freezingly cold there. & oh ya, i tin melb has better shopping, they hav some streets 4 budget shopping but i tot we were quite curbed, din exactly spend a lot...tin so...haha. now tat we r back here, i'm actually missing it a little...the weather bah...i dun wan go back sg liao...keke.

juz tot of some stuffs ms 大小姐 cld actually do...unpacking all the stuffs but cun wash the dirty clothes coz she amazingly doesn't noe how 2 use the washing machine. yes, she's tat spoilt & clueless. she prob spoilt the microwave 4 all she noes. or i cld upload the photos too...get ready 4 our supermarket shopping later...we r cooking in tonite! =b

ending here...doing something...dunno wat tho...sleep the most likely...haha =]

Same side of the moon

2006-03-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

Same side of the moon

I'm looking out the window
Where we sat to watch the stars
There's a chill within the air
It makes my heart long for your touch
You may be miles away
But as I kneel to pray

I see the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

I picture you across the ocean
In your corner of the world
I pray the wind will blow my voice
And gently whisper in your ear
Your night may be my day
And though the seasons change

It's still the same side of the moon
That we'll be looking on when the world turns blue
And know that time and space can't come between me and you
We share the same side of the moon
And though you'll never see all the tears shine through
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon
I know I can't be that far from you
If we're both looking on the same side of the moon

all courtesy of shiling...thks gal, my great buddy! sad 2 be missing the sex & the city 'party' during gd fri but we'll mk it up another day, i will pluck u some lavanders & give u a NEW koala bear keychain...haha.

1st heard this song when i was watching a taiwanese serial...tot it was vy nice...then caught it live at esplanade during 1 NY eve, listening 2 this song under the stars juz brings out the whole atmosphere...corrine may's voice is so so soothing...now i can totally relate 2 the lyrics. 2 only say itz nice wld be an understatement 2 the song. addicted 2 it now...=]

itz 7 days 2 THE trip...i anticipate yet dread...maybe i shdn't tin so much of when it ends. it dampens the mood a little. i shd start packing soon, judging by it seems tat i'll be bringing quite a bit of stuffs...hee.

一分钱，一分货

2006-03-16T10:18:00.000+08:00

i believe in 一分钱，一分货. i bought 2 $5 items frm chinatown yday aft signing the appt letter (YES, i FINALLY get a job...). The bag's button already fell off this morn & i spent half of my bus journey trying 2 get it back, luckily i succeeded. i heard the colour will stick onto clothes too...so basically u spend $5, u get quality of $5. hope the shawl will at least last me 3 mths? oh ya, & itz YELLOW...hee. went shopping wif lily (we din wan 2 shop at 1st :P) ynite & i managed 2 curb myself quite a bit. here r my 'adventures':

i told myself i shd be able 2 get a decent pair of slippers frm my home collection, so i put back the one at m)phosis & decided 2 give my bag 2 my sis, then i dun hav 2 buy one 4 her...ha
i tin i dun hav a nice back, so i decided against the spaghetti straps & tubes at mango...keke
the Q was too long 4 a trial at Zara & dun hav my size, so ya nex time lah...
DKNY aft sale is still too ex...wahaha
din find the YELLOW cardigan i wanted at isetan or rather, i had wanted 2 go isetan scotts where there r more stuffs...maybe i'll find my YELLOW stuffs then...hee
i did not get the privilege card frm sis 4 shoes at charles & keith...hoho

i finally succumbed at forever 21 where i bought a turtleneck top again...it was really nice lah. i nearly bought somemore...& realised yday tat this shop has got nice clothes aft all...hmm, ya...haha! had the lettuce-wrap-meat 'burger' at mos again yday & it was such a mess...too much sauce...haha. had some fun wif tat ki siao woman too...haha...kinda missing sch days where all of us can ki siao tog...sadly, 4 the graduation ceremony nex mth, only half of the gang will be there...missed dancing Q esp...the 3 of us were supposed 2 be tog.

i realised i din get anything done mentioned in my last blog...i'm quite gd at gg out-of-point huh...no gd ne.

jetting off 2 brisbane in 2 wks' time...so excited & happy! =b we might be gg 2 melbourne, therez this great ocean road which seems vy nice...woo...i tin i might really wan stay there & not come back...which mom will surely not allow. my mommy is so afraid of her daughter getting into trouble wif the authorities wif the tax filing deadline & election coming up...had 2 keep reassuring her & made sure i settled all possible b4 moving off.

gossip can be so harmful yet entertaining at the same time...we can get hurt by it yet thrive on it. circle of life perhaps.

14 more days...woohoo!

itz 三八妇女节...

2006-03-08T11:10:00.000+08:00

i tin i'm so capable of stressing myself all up. stressed over life, over being sort-of jobless...career blah blah blah. y do we like thinking so much sometimes? 4 a better future? bcoz every decision we make now might well affect wat might be a great future? so wat is a GREAT future? i attempt 2 lead my life my own way, then found tat sometimes i hav 2 succumb 2 reality. am i happy? do i wan things this way? i convinced myself accepting things the way it is & always nvr believe the surface of things but is it working? am i happy at the end of the day? Is ALL these seriously wat i really really wan? so wat is it tat i wan then? do i really really nid 2 noe wat is it tat i wan or i cld juz take things as they come, maybe i'll be happier tat way. serious. some ppl r wasting their lives away in other ppl's opinions but they r happy, so watz the balance here? so many ppl out there might not really noe they wan...like me, i hav chg my ideas & plans how many times since i ever came up wif one? so hvg a goal in life is like a guideline but 2 succeed, things hav 2 wk at the rite time, ppl & place wif an amt of luck.

so i got an job offer yday & i'm still asking myself: wat is it tat is holding me back frm working there? i find an inside force so strong within apparently telling me 2 hold back but reality tells me 2 go ahead. & wat is it i really wan? i also cun come up wif a certain ans: banking, finance or auditing? hopefully sy can really help lah. oh ya, this cute (wahaha) ex-boss gave us a treat at Keyaki last thurs. we chatted wif no restrains, it was a vy nice feeling, brings back fond memories of odeon towers. missing the lunch sessions, mad rush 4 sales, noisy office, bk breakfasts, birthday celebrations wif cakes frm furama, tokyo bananas, bitching together, mac meetings, eerie office, secrets sharing in the toilet, jap collz wif their funny english...& many else but sy asked me 2 go somewhere wif better salary, prospects blah blah blah. juliet was the most pitiful, it muz be terrible hearing the way 1 of the shareholders of the co tok abt itz pros & it reaffirms the fact tat he's really a businessman. wonder if he has vacancies in HK...hmm. btw, the sashimi at Keyaki rocks. it was so fresh, so sweet, so tasty i tin i do take sashimi now. cun wait 4 the jun treat now, if it ever happens...haha.

oh, speaking of wat i wan now:

1) saw 2 vy nice YELLOW knitwear & sweater at esprit yday.
2) a hair trim...shd be gg 4 it this sat.
3) get 2 more ear-holes (is tat wat u call tat? i forgot.).

ya, 4 now, these 3 shd suffice. i cun buy any skincare or comestic pdts coz my face is undergoing treatment. vy soon, i will look as nice as the photoshop pic...haha. oh, got somemore, the $5 bag & shawl which i can get frm chinatown. i shd chk those out...haha

meeting ivy later...hvn seen her pretty face 4 like...a yr? shd be since last cny. she's ALWAYS rejecting my dates...sob. i shd take a gd look at her later, if not it will be another yr soon...haha.

oh ya, Happy 三八妇女节! shiling reminded me of it juz now...we shd celebrate this day together...wahaha...OUR day...wahaha +eliz & kim...haha. btw gal, i do feel vy entertained reading ur blog but u seldom update it nowadays...so sad...when shall we go 4 the tea thing at seah st?

花儿般的坚强

2006-02-27T23:00:00.000+08:00

爱在孤独中绝望在绝望中坚强

忽然喜欢上这句歌词。。。就这么简单 ;)

blabberings...

2006-02-23T10:26:00.000+08:00

the 1st thing i wan say in this post is:
I PASSED MY FINAL PAPERS!!!

yes, so i'm officially an ACCA affliate now...finally...aft 3 yrs which isn't bad at all...keke. i'm amazed even at myself...heard how bad the exams can get & i can tell u itz REALLY VY BAD, i cleared all w/o repeating! i tin i'm so lucky & muz thk the following ppl:

Family: everyone's cooperation & care helps a lot...mum's amulet water, sis' 爱心water, honey's SUPER late nites blah blah blah...my family ties r strong & tat says all.
My lovely Jap ex-boss: if not 4 the study leaves, i might not hav made it. despite all my whinings, he's still a nice boss...well, my home com, $500 brisbane allowance & other miscellaneous stuffs. i shd hav been nicer but tat was a younger me. lesson learnt & reminded.
Juliet: during my study leaves, she had 2 'tong' alone...thks! this is a friendship tat will bring us 2 greater heights =)
Johnny: THKS THKS THKS! a big part in me clearing my final papers...lessons in life & my counsellor too...this is something 4 life too.
acca kakis: thks 4 the support given all thru the period...u guys r great!
Mr Driver: thks 4 the rides but u got ur rewards liao so ya...hee
Friends: thks 4 all the gd luck msgs, prayers blah blah blah...it wks...haha

anyone i left out is purely incidental & not intentional...wahaha.

in the light of happiness, i hav more pimples popping out...ARGH!!! itz real frustrating but also gave me a chance 2 c how photoshop is used...amazing too. i decided...i'll c a doc 2 fix it if it continues...i cnt live wif it anymore...almost!!! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

but i was given a nokia 7600 (the look like a leaf one) 2 try out...ya, my once-lovely samsung x430 is peeling like mad but i'm still a samsung mobile phone supporter...i'm so used 2 its functions tat i tried using them on the 7600. not 2 say of coz i was cursing at how bad it is *i miss my samsung!!!* but i tin the phone is vy cute, so i shall bear wif it 1st lah & pls bear wif me 4 the SLow replies too...i hav 2 get used 2 the phone which obviously i'm hvg pros now.

so i can put off buying a hp 4 a while (yes, a while coz i still miss samsung u c...) but when's the metro 20% storewide discount thing coming again? my kose black mask is almost out...wonder if it can last me this sun...sob. been looking at masks nowadays...i'm interested in a cold mask which i can apply aft my own facial & other types of miscellaneous masks. oh ya, & those pimple plasters where u sticked overnite & the nex day it disappears...i NID tat too & urgently. i'm quite sure i did tin of getting something else too but dun remember now. oh, i wan a shawl...a nice golden yellowish one. yes, i love things yellow & green nowadays.

i'm gg 2 brisbane again...yes, i'm still thinking if i shd get the Maxfactor stuffs...i quite like this brand but itz not available in s'pore & i still hav the lip gloss i bought last yr which i used like once or twice? but the nail polish was nice. oh, i'll get 2 go 2 harbourtown this time...YAY!!! & it will be autumn when i go over...sounds vy nice...hee. hoping 2 c yellowish leaves & trees...u c them in autumn rite? *fingers crossed*

watched brokeback mountain last nite. i wld call it a nice show but itz so weird seeing 2 guys in love & them kissing & even sexual scenes, it was juz hard 2 get emotionally involved in the show...hmm & it doesn't help tat shiling cracked something abt the guys beside her & i tot of the guys ARD us...ya, u noe who lah...haha. no offence meant tho.

lately i had 2 say quite a lot in 1 post...they juz came 2 my mind...ha.

Happy V-Day!

2006-02-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

phew, juz finished wif my NEW resume & sent it 2 edwin 4 some reviews. it sure seems better now...hope it wks...*winks*

watched 'i not stupid too', itz nicer than i expected altho i find things getting dramatic twds the end & the ladies beside was laughing every possible moment, even the sad parts...wat a direct contrast 2 my 'lovely' younger sis who suffered frm swollen eyes aft tat...haha. on the way back on the bus, sis (elder one) & i were discussing abt parenting, parents & child issues...hmm, making me tin a bit.

i finally sort-of mapped out my future career plan but still subject 2 my results. oh ya, judgement day's nex mon...still pondering if shd take leave tat day coz in my best imagination, i tin i'll cry either way of the results. speaking of it really mks me nervy...sian.

Happy Valentines DAy! i'll be spending my evening wif 2 lovely ladies but we reckon itz gonna be super crowded everywhere & each yr, we complained abt the same old things...haha.

To: Mr U-noe-who-u-r-&-i-noe-U-r-reading,
nex yr, i tin i will love somewhere quiet & peaceful...keke & oh ya, something my sistas wld love 2 hear...the bill's on u 4 this yr too?

PS: pls dun drop any comments, u might well offend the ladies & i hav 2 spend tdy alone...=P

oh oh oh, INZAGHI scored a hat-trick yday & the other goal was scored by Gilardino. shucks, a match i wld relish watching but i decided 2 be more peaceful. wanted 2 upload a pic of them tog but itz not working...nvm, i shall save up 2 c them in person soon ;D

care care CARE!!!

2006-02-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

juz watched 霍元甲...itz fab. the movie was vy fast-paced which was gd coz we wun fall asleep but it has a sort-of sad ending...soppy. we din wan 2 leave when the credits came coz jay's song hav not came out...wahaha & when it did, we REALLY dun feel like leaving...=P

i shd get the jay dvd soon but i'm planning my money vy carefully nowadays. not tat it wks most of the time...got myself a black turtleneck when i was waiting 4 shiling 2 reach juz now. ya, excuses...i tot itz suitable 4 my nex job...keke. this is watz happening...seriously, when i get a job, itz gg 2 pay 4 many things:

1) insurance (due in mar...my heart is bleeding...)
2) taiwan in aug/sep (my poor parents...the trip juz keep getting delayed due 2 me...sorry)

& other stuffs like:

3) new set of comestics
some of my stuffs were bought like yons ago...not even sure if itz safe 2 continue using...haha. i saw this brochure frm isetan abt paul & joe...sounds interesting (okay, i'm more interested in the free bag once u spend $120...itz really nice =P). stila is another interesting brand. so i decided: bodyshop's not bad & itz price will allow me 2 splurge on lancome & stila. anyone has any idea on gd WATERPROOF mascara? i dun wan 2 look like i've been punched everytime i use the current maybelline one but it sure lengthens the eyelashes...amazing. oh, i nid concealer too...the current mac one is not bad but shall c if therez any nicer ones...keke. too bad, prescriptives's not available now...juz when i decided 2 use it...sad. lately, i tin the face shop's not bad...i like their $2.50 nail polishes. i shd get a blue one since i hav pink, yellow, green...so little? oh, then i wan black, white, maroon...aiyoyo, so many stuffs & no money...SAD!

4) skincare products
okay, my 神奇水's running out...my fave lancome moisturiser's out yons ago...i'm vy sad! not tat the current loreal one is bad...itz gd too but the lancome one was fabulous. u can feel the moisture on ur face aft application. itz super absorbent & i can apply the sunblock rite aft. well, the price matters too. Sis juz bought the lancome SPF50 sunblock (2 my relief...dun wan freckles...) & the price has risen, so i tin itz the same 4 the moisturiser. if u even nid a long lasting eye serum, try clarins...my current one muz hav lasted me at least more than a yr...gulp & itz stopping me frm trying out my new SK-II eye treatment film...still new bcoz itz there lying 4 so many mths & i cun use it =( i quite like my current pdts but the acne lotion frm my facial place wld be vy nice coz it wks. hmm, origins & shu uemura seems nice but i'm sticking wif my lancome, clarins & SK-II 4 now. dun be mistaken, i also use ginvera cleanser & marvel gel, eversoft toner (swears by it!), loreal moisturiser & pore refiner, za nose peel, blotters & exfoliator. too bad, i'm not a convincing spokesman of all the above pdts mentioned coz of my pimply face...i'm quite prone 2 them...SAD! tin i'll get the acne lotion once i can...dun wan 2 risk gg 4 facial now, i'm sure i'll spend more than i cld there.

so i'm a typical woman aft all. i find it vy scary aft writing out the stuffs but at least now i hav a clearer mind on wat i'm using...haha. this entry's basically a recollection so tat i'm not leaving anything out & not using. oh, i forgot the ever trusty & useful lip balm...like david tao, i bring them everywhere & apply anywhere coz u really feel the difference aft using them. hmm, i'm lacking care on my body, shall look into tat...OMG!!! am i sure i'm gg 2 spend almost all my $$$ on all this? itz worthed it...i hope i look 20 when i'm 30 =P

5) a bday prez 4 Small Fat...she wun give up the chance 2 'chop' me...hoho

6) bags...i promised i wld consider carefully b4 juz getting any bags...no impulse buys! bro juz came back frm bangkok w/o anything (YES, not even the bags i requested 4!) 4 me...had 2 pretend i din mind while Small Fat get like 2 FAKE adidas bags (hahaha...so u noe she's carrying a fake one if u c her...wahaha), 2 jackets, some necklaces. wait till i get there myself...hehe.

7) shoes...how can any outfit be complete w/o shoes? waiting 4 the m)phosis sale tho...their shoes r quite comfy & itz vy CHEAP during their sales & did i mention i saw this lovely dress there the other day & decided against splurging?

8) handphone...actually i shd ignore the rest & do something abt this 1st. my once-lovely samsung X430 is peeling & the phone juz looks like it really wans me 2 give up using it coz it was all vy well aft a few mths back...well, i'm eyeing another samsung phone, panasonic's fine too. samsung E770...seems not bad but shiling was telling me abt E760...tempting.

aft toking so much...i realised i shd get a job aft all. tat might solve all of the above...slowly but at least solving...hey, therez the $10m toto draw on fri...hope mum has bought 4 me...WISHING =)

远远在一起...

2006-02-01T00:09:00.000+08:00

shiling was telling me abt this song last nite...

多一秒世界就会被淹没
你还像个巨人紧紧拥抱找
离开你变得渺小的自我
很想从此就卑微的渡过

失去真爱
只剩快乐残骸
已感觉不到任何的存在

还是爱着你
只是我们之间有了距离
远远爱着你
就算不能够在靠近
同样的天空下总会有你

站在时间面前没法撤退
我们像两颗告别的尘灰
记得拥抱时天地有多美
记得没有谁能将这摧毁

寻觅真爱
跌进人山人海
才发现没有线索可倚赖
不管我们之间什么距离
就算不能够再靠近
ha……
就算在不同国度里有你

this was composed by david but i still prefer 再一次拥有 by the same singer but oh well...ya...=)

tired tired week...

2006-01-21T01:00:00.000+08:00

i always tot my blog template is so bland but i dun bother 2 do much 2 it. basically i tin i'll make do wif something simple.

tired man...how can i outfight the chinatown crowds tmr? i shd try 2 convince my parents on gg somewhere, if not i tin aft the whole thing, i'll probably be too shacked out 2 join 4 the ktv...hmm but i'll give in 2 them if they really wan go bah...i can always siam earlier...heehee.

is life abt facing dilemmas? i dinno wat 2 do wif my career. hmm, i got 2 decide wat is it i wan b4 moving 2 the nex step. ideally, i wld love 2 join 1 of the big 4 (actually only pwc...keke) 2 do auditing but they r not calling me. eh, i did reci 1 frm ey asking abt an internship...sighz, y cun they tell me they r not employing me bcoz my results r not out...they sounded quite lame BUT if ey wans me aft tat, i reckon i'll still join them...haha. well, itz no use holding on 2 too much of tat thing called pride. pride is a hinderance 2 success. i hav no doubt therez so much i yearn 2 achieve & i noe my abilities...oh, i'm sounding super self-confident now it seems, so long itz not cocky. so long i keep my dignity. therez a diff between pride & dignity...dun believe? chk it.

juliet suggested tat we start doing part-time a/cs & when we r ready, we'll plunge into providing accounting services full-time...not a bad idea...suits my personal goal & the fortune-telling tat i wun be satisfied working 4 other ppl but i reckon i'm still too inexperienced. i shd give myself more time 2 gain experience in other areas. reci a call frm kelly rdg joining her company but we din manage 2 tok much tho. my concerns 4 gg there wld be itz a shipping company & japanese-owned again...hmm, but they r owned by mitsubishi corp tho, now tatz a diff matter altogether as mitsubishi is 1 of the top 3 firms in japan. i worry abt my accounting experience becoming too specialised & if itz anytime 2 join auditing, it wld be now. dilemma dilemma!!! i tin i dun hav 2 worry too much...take it as it comes...something i started 2 stand by nowadays.

this wk is a tiring one as i unintentionally went out every nite...hole in my pocket. caught 'Pride & Prejudice' on tues, itz a wonderful show. i love it. will get the dvd. the love story between lizzy & mr darcy is so SWEET...i was so disappointed when the show ended...i decided 2 finish the book =D went kushin bo wif eliz & wws on thurs. itz a vy belated bday treat 4 wws. anyway, eliz & i gorged on the fd, it was nice...love the paper steamboat but the most memorable's the song & bell...haha. as a result of gorging, i suffered frm the feeling of fullness & nausea the whole fri, i tin i hav nvr been this full b4 & we even went 2 mustafa 4 a walk 2 try ridding of the fullness. forced myself 2 eat dinner. we went 2 swensens & has a brainstorming tok abt the accounting venture. i tot we shd juz try it out & c how it is...like personally i hav nvr done it b4, we'll take a step at a time bah...while itz gd 2 plan 4 the future but sometimes u dun hav 2 tin so much...like i said: take it as it comes.

hav not got much 4 cny except a pair of shoes...i hvn been really shopping freely 4 a long long time. i dread 2 c my bills 4 nex mth tho =(

16 days aft NY...

2006-01-16T10:23:00.000+08:00

itz mon again...a normal wk week...sighz. i'm feeling lethargic as usual, so i tin i got 2 do something 2 at least drive it away a bit. not tat i feel there will be much use. it shd be something 2 do wif the bad sleep last nite. i'm facing sleeping problems...i cun sleep early & once i do, i cun wake up early...10 hrs sleep days r so common & i can still feel so sleepy aft tat which isn't gd when i tin of it. i shd start hvg earlier nites if possible.

the sun's out but i still miss the rain. being a 'hot' person, i tin i prefer colder days coz i can wear anything i wan tat way. looks like there will be much sunshine tdy, so mum might wash honey. i shuddered when mum described wat she will do 2 honey but honey really nids a wash. he's turning 2 blackie & smelling a bit...wahaha.

oh, i'm finally able 2 catch pride & prejudice in the theatres. hvg some difficulties understanding the book. itz like reading a literature textbook, i keep hvg 2 ponder the irony, flip to & fro 4 some explanations for word meanings, so i'm still stucked at chapter 8 as at yday. i tin i rather read the zhang xiao xian books. i noe i can finish it & despite the no. of times i've read it, i still feel vy touched & the nid 2 balance myself wif a happier book. zhang xiao xian has some vy gd quotes on love, the one i remembered the most was something like this:

我就站在你面前，而你却不知道我爱你。

how true tat is sometimes. i believe so many ppl r in tat situation. is it due 2 initiative? initiative...itz so easily said but hard 2 do. i tin basically i'm still conservative, it will take quite a bit 4 me 2 take up the initiative. hmm, i'll probably drop subtle hints & tat brings me back 2 1 of my fave topics. how do u noe tat is it? wat if itz a misunderstanding? it doesn't mean tat when the other party's being nice, they r liking u. we do tin too much huh? sometimes therez really no nid 2 tin so much, juz take it as it comes lah.

my younger (who looks elder than me...wahaha) sis help dyed my hair yday & she did quite a gd job. she can consider an alternative career if she fails as an optometrist...haha. so i'll hav 2 give her a bigger bday prez 2 reward her...hoho. tat gal shares a bday wif jay okay...cun help mentioning tat & cun help being a bit jealous...haha.

lately ppl ard me has been adamant on 1 topic. itz weird...how did things get this way? i'm amazed too.

poor Small (Fat) Sister...

2006-01-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

went 4 a haircut juz now...as usual, it looks like therez no cut but the funniest thing has got 2 be the hairdresser (a guy) mistaking my younger sister as my elder sister. at tat mo, we went into shocked mode. my younger sister is 5 yrs younger & taller than me, so it was a super sad thing 4 her, she was mocking at the thing aft tat. i can emphathise wif tat but cun help laughing. anyway, my sisters tot itz the way i asked them abt opinions 4 my fringe. well, they tin i'm vy gd at acting cute & innocent frm my phone-answering ways & other antics. i beg 2 differ! sometimes cuteness come frm the heart okay? wahaha.

& we came back 2 an exceptional quiet home juz now too. wonder if itz some usual petty squabble between my parents again. yes, they quarrelled abt amazing stuffs like how's the clothes 2 be hung, how do u place the pot cover. i can only say they r ard the age of menopause...shudders. my hse is normally a vy noisy affair...we love laughing over almost everything. 一日三大笑, i supposed we laugh so much more than tat.

btw, dunno watz wrong wif me. ever since the exams in mid-dec, i hav been sick on & off...still hvg a SORE throat...hopefully the 爱心菊花茶 will help...i had 2 cups...keke. i tin i cun let my mum noe i'm gg 4 ktv tmr, no one is really gg 2 pity me if they do. not tat i love being pitied but u do wan some concern when u r sick...not waking up 2 some chilli wanton mee & worse, curry chicken 4 the rest of the day.

i started visualising myself w/o a proper job. hav not been receiving much calls. okay, i'm choosy too. therez nothing wif wanting 2 wk in town. well, i might yield if i still dun get a job 3 mths later. getting a bit sian over all these job searches. like i told kim, i shd seriously contemplate getting a husband instead. ya rite, as if the feminist in me will allow me 2 do so.

lately some things hav been happening. it seems pleasant but i tot i shd give it a bit more time & tots. i dun wan the past 2 repeat itself.

peace-loving...wherez the dove?

2006-01-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

juz read some news stories over the asiaone website. the biggest one had 2 be the israeli PM being vy ill. i dunno the political turmoil in tat part of Middle East in detail but frm wat i read, he seems 2 hav done much 4 peace in tat region. i once saw a TV excerpt of a little palestinian boy watching his father being killed in front of him in a shootout. it shocks me tat while i'm living safely & nicely in my home, there r so much other more ppl suffering ard the world. i started 2 tin myself in the position of the little boy & shudders. no doubt there will be grief but will all this be the start of him harbouring hatred twds the 'enemy' & 1 day be embroiled in a shootout like them? revenge indeed.

i often wonder if i cld hav survived if u take me out of s'pore. much as i hate 2 admit, i'm such a spolit brat sometimes. the weather cun be too hot, cun walk too far...how abt those kids in Pakistan who had 2 battle the cold if not their lives, maybe already in shambles. i'm so ashamed of myself sometimes. wld i be strong enough 2 take all those battering? juz news tat a fren has got into kpmg & i had not even reci a call frm any of the big 4 kinda unsettles me...i started finding reasons when in the 1st place, i was saying i dun wan join them. guess i'm juz envious of her getting a job. it also spurns on me tat i'm not the job-seeker & most outstanding person out there. contradicting...since the nex mo when my boss' editing my resume, he says i dun sound confident & my resume & cover letter doesn't sell me. look, i'm trying 2 be humble but ya, therez really something wrong wif my CV...a chg has done it better. hope i'll get some calls =p

k...a bit out of point...i was juz also wondering tat itz said tat between love & hatred is juz a line, so once we cleared tat line, there will be peace? but during a lunch discussion, it was brought up tat all things r balanced, so tat means when therez love, hatred will be hovering somewhere too? then how do we achieve peace? it was also discussed y do ppl bother hating each other? quite true also, u get agitated (which might lead 2 unhappiness...who noes heart attack) whenever tat person's mentioned & 1 thing, r u sure he/she's the only one wif fault 4 wat had happened? but some ppl r really meant 2 be hated. their actions r totally intolerable. most of the time, i wld say i dislike the person. aft all, unless u r hard-hearted, u cun hate a thing 4 too long anyway & y bother wasting time & energy on hating? we shd be able 2 find better things 2 do. everything's easier said than done tho but if everyone cld be a little less selfish, put themselves in others' shoes b4 acting...maybe (i said maybe) we can get peace. i dunno y when contestants in beauty paegents is deemed hyprocritical or ran off the mill of ideas when they wan world peace? i believe there r ppl who genuinely wans it...looking ard watz happening in the world nowadays...i cun believe therez anyone who din tin of it but as usual, being human, u noe itz not gg 2 happen. no wonder nature r gathering their forces 2 get back at us. 2 fight ppl when they r most dis-united and they cun stand us anymore...sigh...they hate us, i suppose & i dun wan 2 argue abt this. we hav indeed done things we shd not and refuse 2 heed warnings.

itz a New Year...

2006-01-01T23:56:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!!!

so fast...itz 2006 now...& it seems like only yday tat we hav celebrated the new Millenium? i feel old...old enough 2 not be squeezing wif the younger ppl & be reminded of how young i used 2 be. okay, i'm not terribly old now but at least older than wat i used 2 be & itz terrible seeing the signs, now u noe y all the ladies buy the entire set of sk-II skincare. i c my limbs more wrinkled...my acne scars taking vy long 2 heal...sighz, hav 2 spend more time on them liao.

as we r now OLDER than b4, we decided 2 avoid crowded places, then realised something which we r supposed 2 realise every yr: ppl r EVERYWHERE! so the restaurant was crowded, full of chattering until OLD ppl like us buay tahan...start thinking of ideas 2 escape & hav pro thinking of a place wif little ppl. finally we settled on a place which was deemed vy unlikely in the 1st place, then we set off 2 get our own fireworks: sparklers. hey, if u ever nid 2 get sparklers at ard 11pm, even on New Yr's Eve, go 2 clementi central. we were surprised we cld still get them at tat hr.

we went down 2 a secret location 4 light it...wahaha...itz nice...provides us wif unexpected fun. here's my partner wif the lighted sparklers:

& here's her trying 2 sell choya...keke. itz quite nice & i tot it tastes like red wine. choya & red wine...unlikely resemblance.

& the bottle of Margarita we cldn't open...it looks nice. too bad we cun open it but we will leave it 4 nex sat...hee

so itz a quiet quiet New Year & things got back 2 normal wif the 2 of us spending it alone again but minus the esplanade backdrop. heard the fireworks was nice but this yr is special is its own way...our way of spending it...keke. we hav slightly mapped out wat we'll do nex yr which aft more thinking, doesn't seem tat bad at all...haha!

Hav u made ur wishes 4 2006? i hav made the usual ones. they r simple but impt =)

hope everyone will hav a great year! stay Happy & be Happy!

PS: my new year partner, dun blame me 4 posting ur pics...u took more...haha =b

恶作剧

2005-12-26T22:48:00.000+08:00

读着好友的网上日记时，读到了这句：

我们常常花很多时间去找一个懂自己的人或自己要的人。
若真的有那样的一个人，自己却不是他想要的。

一句让我很有共鸣的话。。。我们通常花很多时间去找或等一个自己己预先设定的所谓梦中情人，却忽略了既使让我们找到，他不是理所当然属于自己的。往往把自己弄得更加疲惫，还有伤心，因为终于找到了，但却没有预想的完美结局。可是至少事实己摆在眼前，不得不面对。。。想想，至少这代表解脱，也给自己一个机会去看到别人。经历多一件事情，只会让自己往成长跨多一步，也让自己了解自己要的是什么。

我相信上苍让我们经历每一件事情都是有原因的。

最近非常喜欢这首歌：

我找不到很好的原因屈足等着一切的亲密
这感觉太奇异我抱歉不能说明

我相信这爱情的定义奇迹会发生也不一定
风温柔的清晰也许飘来好消息

一切新鲜有点冒险请告诉我怎么走到终点
没有人了解没有人像我和陌生人爱恋

我想我会开始想念你可是我刚刚才遇见了你
我怀疑这奇遇只是个恶作剧
我想我已慢慢喜欢你因为我拥有爱情的勇气
我任性投入你给的恶作剧你给的恶作剧

我找不到很好的原因屈足等着一切的亲密
这感觉太奇异我抱歉不能说明

我相信这爱情的定义奇迹会发生也不一定
风温柔的清晰也许飘来好消息

我才发现你很遥远请让我再嘲笑你的想念
没有人了解没有人像我和陌生人爱恋

我想我会开始想念你可是我刚刚才遇见了你
我怀疑这奇遇只是个恶作剧
我想我已慢慢喜欢你因为我拥有爱情的勇气
我任性投入你给的恶作剧你给的恶作剧

王蓝茵的恶作剧。。。是 melody 和 MTV 的猛打吧。。。但是真的很值得一听。

因为这首歌，我很想看恶作剧之吻 =D

x'mas ah x'mas...

2005-12-24T13:20:00.000+08:00

itz x'mas eve...& time really flies isn't it? my exams r over...sure hope itz the final one 4 my acca qualification & it was hell of 3 papers, the 1st time i wanted 2 cry & walk out on the paper halfway & it happened twice. hav 2 pray hard...keke

speaking of praying, i did visit the Guan Yin temple yday...2 pray 4 safety & gd luck in my job search. speaking abt job searches, it sure is mafan...send resumes, wait, then hav 2 go interview...nearly went changi south 4 interview...imagine working there...hoping 2 get into pwc, got 2 start working under cpa 2 achieve my ultimate objective: cpa status.

i was told tat my zodiac will 犯太岁 & i hav 2 go pray again if not it will be quite bad 4 me in the yr. hmm, tot abt my job search & decide 2 do juz tat. ya, u can call me superstitious but therez no harm taking precautions.

sometimes i feel rather lost, not much guidance on the nex step. i tin i'll hav 2 let nature take its course. had a lot of tots during the study period but blogging them wld be too long now, another day perhaps.

非常喜欢这句歌词：趁世界没发觉，让我带着你离开。。。
有时真的很想逃离现在的世界，有一种真的很疲惫的感觉。太累了，人生如果都这么累，又怎能享受生活？

hey, i'm not suicidal hor...in case the words r too depressing. i still hav a lot of undone things...like gg 2 italy 4 my beloved inzaghi (blush...wahaha), get my results (yes, i wan it aft working so hard!), watch jay & david in concert again, faye's comeback, da vinci code the movie (but tom hanks looks a bit...), a trip back 2 aus (saw it on globetrekkers again last nite...sighz), send out the x'mas card 2 funayama-san (keep forgetting), eat langyi's claypot rice (hav been saying it 4 the longest time), buy a new phone (get job 1st), wash honey (he's turning 2 blackie soon...oops), tidy up my stuffs (tough task), buy a car (4 dad 2 drive, dun wan depend on certain ppl's car), treat my diarrhoea pros (popped out again lately...sianz), be a nicer person (always trying hard), taming the wicked mouth (sometimes itz quite hard...keke), not 2 get high pitched when i'm excited (i realised it runs in the family) & many more...gosh, so many things 2 be done...waisey...

btw, merry x'mas...better get started on funayama-san's card...itz already vy late...=b

meeting the nhss gang later, always happy meeting them...shd hav a lot of laughter...GD.

凌晨三点钟

2005-11-29T02:55:00.000+08:00

i cun wait 4 all this 2 end yet i dun feel prepared 2 undertake the challenge yet.

i nid strength 2 hold on.

it has been too long.

i'm so so tired. when can i hav a proper sleep? & give my poor eyes a break? do wat i wan 2 do？

david's fab but even he cun save me frm the exhaustion. i hope u come by again soon.

happy birthday, Ryan Giggs, my fave Man U player. come back soon, itz tough seeing my fave footie team like this.

现在是凌晨三点钟，听着凌晨三点钟。。。突然觉得有点落寞。

持续下去需要一股力量，但有时它该从哪来才有用。。。

&^&%$##^%^&&&^

2005-11-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

shacked...Shacked...SHACKED!!!

typical day goes like this: wake up, wash out, rush 2 nus, study till like 9pm, rush home, wash up, study again...finally sleep ard 1/2...& amazingly, the whole process juz repeats itself the nex day. i wonder if eliz & i will puke at each other aft all this. i tin we hav also planned enough 4 david's concert & the dec bbq.

speaking of the bbq, really looking fwd 2 it...hvn seen some ppl 4 like a yr...like the still-vy-silly wenwei (who's busy pursuing world peace & hunting down terrorists nowadays...wat a guy!), gungho joey (no kiss-the-cards game again pls...) & others lah...shd be fun.

anything shd be better than now. tin itz less than 30 days 2 exams now...& the syllabus is juz so large u hav pro gg thru all & worst, hav 2 memorise them. gg crazy...i'm at 3.6 last sat. i'm still at it as at tdy. i hope i wun be printing my past-yr papers 4 nothing (it costs $18...a lot 4 a no-income earner). ya, i'm getting broke...real broke...nvr felt like this 4 quite long. cun even take a cab home aft studying.

David Tao in another 13 days...suddenly i look vy fwd 2 the concert. he might strip. not exciting me at all.

AGAIN & AGAIN it happened!!!

2005-11-07T01:17:00.000+08:00

i'm sick 2 hear how i juz hate such msn conversations & it juz let itself happen again & again...it nvr used 2 be like this...watz happening? getting on each other's nerves all the time & hvg 2 speak oh so carefully...but still ruffling each other.

i hate this. how do we end this?

38 days away frm freedom...

2005-11-06T23:24:00.000+08:00

38 days away...in sheer agony...

life's abt strategic planning, advanced corporate reporting & strategic financial management till then...itz sad sad sad & i felt like puking aft staring at the notes 4 too long, yet i cun take too long a break...this might be my last blog 4 a long long time...nid 2 study in recluse frm thurs...no time 2 waste...=(((((((((

can i fast fwd the date 2 15 dec? i reckon i will feel vy vy happy tat day.

pray tat everything will be fine...

oh ya, david in 21 days...i cun help but not feel so excited...exams r really depressing...

十一月...gd or no gd?

2005-11-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

tdy's hmm, shd be the 3rd liao...nov spells a lot of things but 1 of the most exciting one is jay's latest release: 十一月的萧邦. a long-awaited release! i tin as usual, on the 1st listen, nothing stands out but as u listen, the album will juz grow on u...this guy is real talented man. take a listen 2 his dig on paparazzi on 四面楚歌...the lyrics r so jay...oh my gosh...i dun wan david 4 now, give me JAY can???

speaking abt david (on a more down tone...wahaha), i actually paid $170 2 go watch david...when i buy (& when i watch), i was so excited. now as i'm getting broker (but still spending...amazing), i miss my $$$. been calculating a lot lately...& i've decided 2 go bangkok, haha, wat am i trying 2 do 2 myself? spend all i hav? i nid a job!!! so i hav 2 study hard, pass my exams & hopefully everything will flow smoothly frm there & i get a job soon. then i can start my yoga, getting a driving licence blah blah blah. u sure nid money 4 all these. damn damn, this world is so abt money sometimes.

while i was taking the bus 2 wk the other day, i saw students frm MINDS boarding the bus & making their way 2 little india 2 view the festivities of deepavali. i find it vy heartwarming. kudos 2 whoever tot of it. i saw the teacher & tot when i cld be like tat. i tin itz not easy 2 teach those students. u might nid a lot of patience but the satisfaction & joy cnt be matched bah. i hope therez 1 day i can be like them. i tin i like myself 2 be a kind person. u cun help but believe in karma sometimes. i hope i hav done enough kindness 2 accumulate enough karma 4 the coming exam...Pray...pray...

i finally saw a moving Gilardino this morn...he seems quite big sized. i din stay long enough 2 c his full view but i tin he is really handsome. looks exactly like frm the photo. sometimes itz hard 2 believe he's the same age as me & a mth younger somemore...i'm getting old...sob sob

so anyone wans 2 buy the $170 ticket frm me? i'll probably be kicking myself when the concert arrives tho. i hav already bought the 荧光棒, sometimes itz better not 2 be wif eliz too often, we start planning a lot & psycho each other 2 buy wat we dun nid...amazing friendship...haha.

no lah, of coz i still like david (26 nov is 3 wks away!) but itz jay's moment now...will i dream of him? (do i really wan 2?)

time 4 bed tho...got 2 start studying later...cun afford 2 delay it again...=(((((((

the postcard triggers...

2005-10-24T23:58:00.000+08:00

i shd sleep...itz the time 2 but i juz picked up something unexpected. i dunno how long it has been laying there...suggests i shd look thru tat pile of letters more frequently. if i din tin of settling my debts tonite, i might hav juz missed it.

tdy's the 25th, wld hav been payday if i'm still at the old place...ya, missed my prev pay...hav 2 but in a way, i've learnt 2 be thrifty altho still spending tho. hence, all the bills & debts & i'm still thinking abt gg bangkok early jan, i really hav 2 do some serious planning. i worry abt not getting a job tho, then bangkok how? so many ppl hav gone there this yr & they all came back wif so much 战利品。how can a shopaholic not go there? i shuddered 2 tin wat eliz & i can tin of during our study period...we decide on the aus trip while studying tog a yr ago...hmm...we (at least me) dun hav enough 2 go further this yr.

i'm reminded of the ex-workplace bcoz i actually reci a postcard frm Funayama-san. i was vy vy surprised! i nvr tot i wld reci such a gesture frm him & he bothers 2 keep my address...oh dear, i was so touched. he still remembers me. i tin i will return the gesture wif a x'mas card...yes, i juz tot of it. luckily he wrote his add...hmm, does tat mean he's expecting something in return? sometimes when i tin back of some things at wk during the past 3 yrs, i will cringe & be a bit grudgy abt their treatment but surprisingly, itz always KF whom we hav much complaints abt, making me realise not all things r so bad.

the card mks my day. itz tat amazing sometimes. juliet was telling me abt the vacancy they r finally offering. i tin it will take a lot 4 me 2 convince myself abt gg back. i cun dun mind the shabby treatment given during the notice period & later part of my service 2 the co. but when it flashes back, it still hurts. something u given so much, wk so hard & yet this is all u get. i will also hav 2 learn frm my mistakes. i did commit quite a lot & wld only do well 4 myself 2 reflect on them.

2 quote my current boss:
it is all in ur head. U believe u can, u will

i will. 4 my exams & future. looking forward.

btw, Super Pippo scored last nite. how wonderful! tho sad i cun c it, at least i saw the repeat telecast last thurs. brightens my day. pls cut ur hair tho, Pippo. itz too long. =P